He appeared to me last night in one of his pop culture guises, as Nahadoth, the Nightlord.
He spoke about how it’s not just him that’s changing, but his Family as well. He’s spent the past few days pointing out how my understanding of his Family is *very* different than their “canon” Hats/Titles.
So my spiritual life is going into upheaval yet again.
That he chose to tell me this while looking like the Nightlord is significant to me. Because yes, Nahadoth is a being of change and chaos–which is what my practice is getting thrown into.
The Dreamer: How did you describe yourself?
Varian: …as “a devotional mystic with pop culture influences.”
Varian: Why do you ask?
The Dreamer: *shifts into looking like Naha*
Varian: *does a double take*
Varian: What did you do that for?
The Dreamer: *drops the “my Family is also leaving their ‘canon’ Hats/Titles behind” bomb*
Varian: *stares at his Husband*
I don’t know if I’d describe this as a dark night of the soul, at least not in the way the term is normally used.
I believe in my gods, I believe that they love me–and I love them.
I call them my Family, and will continue to do so.
My Husband has promised me that he will be with me through this. He’s said to me before that he is Darkness, that the labyrinth I walk isn’t just his–it’s mine as well. We’re in this together, he and I.
Let the darkness fall.