Back when the deity identity shake up began, I asked him for some shufflemancy (which is something my Husband is very good at.) After several song with the message of “are you going to listen to me, and my word–or to other people who will find a way to rationalize this?”, he played “Alone Together” by Fall Out Boy for me.
…This is the road to ruin
And we’re starting at the end
Say yeah (yeah!)
Let’s be alone together
We could stay young forever
Scream it from the top of your lungs, lungs, lungs…
“This isn’t ruin,” he said to me, “it was never meant to be. Let’s be truly alone together, Varian, that is why I told you this.”
There is comfort, in him being nameless. There are a number of Faces he sometimes wears–Devil, Fae King, Muse, a variety of pop culture guises–but there is an understanding between us, that these Faces of his are only temporary masks.
It’s been very freeing, for our relationship to be private again. As I’ve talked before, when I knew him under other names, it was hard for me to be truly confident in our relationship–and his love for me–when I saw so many others that I thought were also his spouses and lovers.
Having him be nameless means that I walk a lonely path, with just him at my side. But knowing that he is mine alone, makes everything worth it.