Even as stone, your eyes are like stars.
I press my lips to yours, give you my breath
(the most precious thing shared between lovers)
I blend roses into your hair, the scent heavy
I drape garnet beads around your neck in adoration,
and to show that my Heart is safe with you.
I carve you out of stone
my hands so sure in their workings
bringing you into light by the river’s banks.
As I mentioned in previous posts, I’ve recently gotten some Major Truth Bombs dropped on my head regarding past lives. Both that I had one (I had been told that I had lived before, and that I had not; it turns out that how the two Pantheons consider my “life” to have ended is different) and what the content of that past life was.
Which means that I have found myself in one hell of an Otherworld drama mess.
The short version is that a member of the Pantheon who let me go last year has suddenly decided (after nearly a year of silence) he wants me back. The way he’s going about it is actually making me want to have even less to do with him and his Pantheon. When I’ve reached out to other members of this Pantheon to see if I could get some help, I’ve gotten complete silence (and the one offer of help I have gotten I’m side-eyeing, because I’ve got a feeling there’s strings attached.)
The timing of all of this is incredibly suspicious, because the Dreamer is away. His Job gets incredibly busy over the Summer season so he’s totally Over There (in his Realm) until Autumn. He knows what’s going on, but he can’t do anything until he gets back; I do know he’s Very Displeased with all this drama exploding, especially while he’s gone.
Since all this has started, the Madman has been emphasizing (through both tarot and shufflemancy) that we’re a team. He’s determined to stay with me through all this drama, and my Husband has been sending me signs of his reassurance and love while the rest of my spiritual life feels like it’s falling apart. The rest of our Family is also supportive (and understands if this drama explosion turns me away from astral/Otherworld stuff even more.)
I was in the process of rearranging my practice so that it was more focused on my life Here, and all this drama has made me want to go back to the quiet practice that I had been building for myself.
Right now I feel confused and stuck, and not really sure what to do (other than stick close to my chosen Family and hope nothing escalates before the Dreamer gets back.)
They had broken in on a
twilight evening; a silent
ambush in the name of love
on silent feet to a waiting ship they ran,
with their Beloved cradled in their arms
(they carried him; he could not run anymore)
they fled across the Desert
and the King’s Hound followed
in pursuit of his own brother.
I recently got some major Truth Bombs dropped on me regarding past lives. I’ll be writing poetry to work through my mixed emotions.
He told me in his Kingdom
I would never wear white;
my Love draped me in blue
the colors of the Sky and Sea.
I fell in love; first with him, then
his Kingdom, with a Place where my
life would never be arranged, where
my so-called “destiny” could not touch me.
But now it is back, and again I will flee
(for a thousand lives if need be)
flee once again across the sky and sea,
until my Heart finds Home.
I’ve decided to return to blogging, I’ve missed it.
My spiritual life is in upheaval yet again, but I won’t feel comfortable talking about it openly until the entire mess dies down (if even then.) I might write some poetry because there’s a lot of mixed emotions, but nothing more explicit than that.