I’ve referred to the Madman as one of the cornerstones of my faith before, and that’s never been more true than now. Even though my mental health has been in the process of falling apart for some time (which isn’t helped by the current Otherworld Drama-fest) he’s still with me. He’s very much encouraging me to find completely mundane ways to get my mental health under control (like therapy,) rather than getting any deeper involved in spiritual stuff.
He’s told me that he, his Family, and the Otherworlds have been around a long, long time; they can wait. The spirits in the Otherworld can wait. Astral traveling and exploring the Otherworlds can definitely wait (I dissociate very easily, which is a disaster in the making when combined with astral travel.) He’s said that once all this Otherworld drama is over, if I need to set up an intentional fallow time, he completely understands.
I recently found a heart shaped stone with the word “joy” carved into it, on the shrine overflow space of my bookshelf. I’ve stared carrying the stone with me, rather than my prayer beads (I’m both open and private about my beliefs.) It’s something that reminds me of the Madman, our marriage, and his role in my life.
He’s helping me find joy even when it feels like everything else in my life is tumbling down. He’s helping me remember that Love is infinite, and that healing sometimes means allowing scars to fade.