(A Vision, Through Poetry)

Until You are healed, young King,
They say, You will rest in this place;
the windswept moors of Outer Darkness.

In My hands They place
My shattered Heart of
wood and bone, and

My wings of ash
and stone begin to
crumble.

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Learn to Love

You miss them, don’t you?

I nod in response to his question.  I can sense him sitting beside me, his arm around my shoulder.

The candle at the shrine to my Husbands flickers, but I sense nothing when I reach out.  I understand why they’re gone–they had explained that there are things going on in the Otherworlds that require their full attention, more fallout from what had happened this Summer–but my Heart still aches at them not being there.

“This is coincidence, isn’t it?”  I ask him.  “You showing back up in my life, and them being gone now.”

Yes, Varian, it is.  He sounds exasperated by my question; I had asked something like that several times now.

“I don’t really know how to handle all of…this.”   I wave a hand between the two of us.  “I’ve even googled ‘dating someone from your past life’ and the results weren’t helpful.”

I sense laughter from him.  Is that what we’re doing, dating?

I think back over what I’d just said.  “I…yeah.  I guess.”

Varian, it’s fine.  I sense his smile.  We’ll figure this out together.

(I did some shufflemancy with him about our relationship, and he gave me this song.)

How Strange

In my dreams we meet again, in
sunlit meadows you press lilies
into my hands and flowers to

my closed eyes, each one another
symbol of your unending devotion.

And how strange it feels, to be the one
above, to be the one sought after,
to be the one being quietly pursued.

To know I’ve held your Heart for so long even
as I’ve loved others–and you allow me this,

they allow us this, this second chance
between childhood friends reunited
with the start of becoming something more.

Grey the Blue

I’ve been keeping my Beloveds in the loop regarding the new person in my life (who I will simply refer to as J.)  They’re not at all surprised that I’ve reconnected with J, nor are they surprised that my feelings are a complicated mess right now.  I barely know him, and yet my Heart and soul are screaming at me about him.

The Dreamer has said that I could technically consider J to be a mortal partner–he lives in the Otherworlds, yes, but he’s not a god (and he hates to be called a spirit.)  Even though I have both my Beloveds reassurance that they’re okay with me pursuing this relationship, I’m still really nervous about all of this.

The bond between J and I is a complex one, that stretches back a very long time, and the leftover feelings from that bond are strong.  We’ve agreed to take things slowly, because so many years have passed, and I’m not the person I was Back Then (neither is he.)  J feels very familiar, and that familiarity is comforting, but also confusing.

Watch the shore
As the tide will never end
Feel the wind
As the clouds will breathe your name

Our faces pale and thin
Embraces cold and bare
We whisper lullabies
So tearful as we glare

When old companions say:
I’m here for you
When one by one they stray
I’ll stay for you

–Diary of Dreams, “Grey The Blue”

Threads

There are so many threads
of our past, tangled and tripping
around one another

the Desert, the Darkness,
the Stars of Home, and I know
by your sad smile, that there’s more

to our past than
the brief outline
I have now.

If You Have Ghosts

I never thought I’d work with ghosts.

Like a lot of things on my path, it’s the last thing I expected that fits me the best.

The spirits I’ve begun to deal with on my sacred Kingship path are ghosts and monsters, and the ghosts think getting this song stuck in my head to get my attention is hilarious.

 

For The Past (IV)

TW for a brief mention of suicide in this poem


It sounds like a story, doesn’t it?
The King’s son, and the King’s servant
but our tale has no happy endings.

You rescued me so many times–from prison,
from leaping off a bridge to my death, from
the life cloaked in secrecy I lived in the Desert.

(You didn’t expect that, did you?
That being Royalty came with a mask, and
honor meant keeping your mouth shut.)

You stayed with me through the nightmares,
ran with me through the catacombs of my fears
held my hand tightly, telling me to follow your lead.

We stood beneath the stars, and you held me close;
by the River’s edge you gave me a ring of silver, and
whispered that your Heart would always be mine.