I made a joke about drawing the Dreamer in goth style clothing, and now this song won’t get out of my head.
He’s also giving me ideas for the background and details of the drawing, and playing all the goth music in my library, so I think I know what I’ll be working on tonight….
The three of us have found our ways back to each other; though this past year was a storm, we still hold each other’s Hearts as close as we ever have.
We need this, this quiet moment simply curled together by the fireside, wrapped in blankets and each other, the three of us listening to our Hearts beat.
In whispers new vows are shared between us, in a language I speak only in my dreams, but when I wake I feel you wrapped around me, and I know that I am even more yours.
Today is my first anniversary with the Dreamer and the Madman.
They didn’t ask for this picture as a present–considering everything we’ve been through together this year (it’s been…one hell of a year, it’s been rough in multiple ways,) they said the three of us simply spending time together was more than enough of a gift.
I wanted to draw them together, because I don’t have any artwork *of* them, and our anniversary felt like a good time to change that.
(Mechanical pencil [outline,] colored pencil)
I want to write something deep and profound about what being married to them for a year has meant for the three of us, but I…don’t have any words to describe what that experience has been like.
It’s been absolutely incredible to have these two at my side.
Happy anniversary, Beloveds.
I love you. ❤
I insisted that I had no idea how to draw people, so my stepson asked me to draw a portrait of him. I started this last night, after I finished my previous drawing, and finished the background today.
The full moon is in the background, and due to my shading the night sky kind of looks like it’s melting, which is actually something I’m proud of.
(Ballpoint pen and colored pencils)
This is a depiction of an astral event. It seems that drawing is the best way for me to process all of this. (The drawing is done is ballpoint pen and colored pencils.)
There’s a lot of traditions in Darkness connected to hair, especially among the Royalty. (It’s when I freaked out so much when the Dreamer cut his hair, because a King doesn’t just cut all his hair off on a whim, it’s a Very Serious action.) One of those traditions involves ribbons being woven into someone’s hair when they enter a Family, and taking them out isn’t something done lightly. Lighting them on fire is even more of a “we’re done, it’s over” gesture.
The red ribbons are the Dreamer’s from his Father, and the green ones are mine (I never actually got any hair ribbons from my “Father,” since he’s from a different Pantheon, but I wanted something to show burning that relationship as well.)
So yeah, that is…a thing that happened. Hopefully this will help us both move on from losing people we once loved and looked up to.
Since it’s Asexuality Awareness Week, I thought I’d re-write an old poem of mine.
I wrote the original poem in December of 2014, back when I was first figuring out that I’m asexual. I was trying to figure out how being asexual worked with my deity marriage (at the time I was only with the Dreamer) and this poem was the result.
I decided to re-write the poem completely, since so much has changed within the past three years. My relationships have been through a lot of changes in that time, and I wanted the new poem to reflect that.
This is for the Dreamer, the Madman, and J. I love all of you.
I find you in the stillness of quiet mornings
hear you whisper in the wind, see you walking
through the fog, your long hair swirling behind you.
I sense you curled around me as I read, you hold me
as I fall asleep, and that is enough for me, to simply
hold you close, listen to your soft breathing as you dream
whatever dreams gods from between the stars have.
It’s enough to know you’re in my Heart, to hear your laughter
and see you smile. We snuggle close on chilly Autumn evenings,
playfully arguing over blankets and books to read. Holding you
close by firelight as our Hearts beat in time is all we need between us.
For us, intimacy is our Hearts being open
to all that we are, and our souls being open
to whatever we may become together.
A drawing I did to help me process Otherworld events.
This is part of a dream I had updating me on what’s going on Over There, and this is what I remember clearest. The mental image of a torch and a sword stuck with me, so I thought I’d draw it.
During the events this depicts, I was holding the torch and sword above My head, but I didn’t want to try and draw My hair (which is a mess of red waves that I’m slowly growing out, because in the Realm My Beloveds and I are from, long hair and Kingship are connected.)
The caption reads Judge Me by My own Light (for Light is the Left Hand of Darkness.)
Ballpoint pen and colored pencils.
In this grey Autumn morning you slip
nearer to me, falling into step at my side.
The ache in my Heart at your absence eases,
Home is where my Heart is, and that lies in
every moment you are with me. I sense you in the
rain and in the swirling Autumn leaves. Your season is
Autumn, and this is where I feel you nearest, Beloved, in the
indescribable changes and liminal times; between death and life,
night and day, you are everything between extremes, and I love you
for your steadfastness and devotion. Even when you are away, I am
in your Heart, you said, that no matter how many miles and
nocturnal shores separate us. You say that you will love me
despite hardships, that no matter what may come our way, your
Heart is mine. As Autumn descends to Winter, let us hold each
other close, let us find each other in times beyond our past
memories. The present is here, and the love we share holds
every possible future within the falling Autumn rain.
I never thought I would bond
with a god over death, over getting
torn away from all we love.
Maybe we argue so much because we’re
both redheads, but then you showed me that
the snark and sarcasm hides innumerable pain.
And damn it, now I find that I actually feel like
I understand you. We clash and we argue, but
there’s understanding to our verbal sparring now
that the mutual snark and glaring may be the glue
holding us both together. We’re the same, you and I
both thrown into a time beyond our lives, torn back into it all
by choice of resurrection or by tarot cards slapping me with the truth.
I’m a universe away from my Beloveds, you came back after
a thousand years of death, and we are both so fucking angry.
We could burn the world down with our rage
(after all, we’re both associated with fire)
but you’re right…that’s probably a bad idea.
In my dreams I hear
the Far Ones singing.
In my dreams I see
a world ending, then
being born again.