Reading With An Ally

I’ve been approached by a new deity, and he’s someone I greatly respect and admire.  He’s offered a formal relationship with me, and I wanted some clarification about *what* exactly he meant by “formal,” as well as some other things.

This reading’s under a cut because it’s just over 1,000 words long; I had questions, and he had answers.

You’ve offered a formal, contractual relationship; why this relationship style?

4 of Pentacles

Fours are a number of structure and stability, and the Pentacles are the suite of Earth, and grounding.  [Deity] is saying that he’s offering this relationship style, rather than something more casual, as a way of helping me stay grounded and finding more structure.

Which reminds me of a conversation I had with J, about how having a more structure practice could help with bad brain stuff.

How would this relationship benefit me?

6 of Pentacles (rev)

When reading with an entity, I often read reversals as “this is my message to you,” so that’s how I’m reading this card.

Again, pentacles appear, and six of pentacles means generosity, charity, and sharing wealth.  However, I do see the scales in the card; this relationship would be one of balance, what help [deity] offers me, I would be required to return the favor–maybe not in exactly the same manor, but our relationship would be one of give-and-take, equals in terms of offerings, help, and friendship.

How would it benefit you?

9 of Pentacles

Nine is an Important number in Darkness, so it showing up here possibly Mean Something.  The nine of pentacles means a creative venture, and means a long-lasting achievement.  So this relationship would benefit [deity] and his Realm by solidifying the ties and Alliance between Darkness and [his Realm.]

Why are you approaching me *now*?

King of Swords (rev)

Again, I’m reading this as “my message to you.”

I feel like this card represents m/Me (he nodded when I asked if that was correct) and it represents recent actions I’ve taken to help improve Darkness as a whole–this has nothing to do with the past year’s trauma, him approaching me now, and everything to do with his respect for m/Me increasing.

How much formality are you expecting of me?

the Lovers (rev)

This card keeps showing up when I’ve done readings with this deity–he’s clarified that it means a partnership it terms of equals, and our values aligning, not a romantic relationship.  He also chose a major arcana card because the deepening of the Alliance between our Realms would potentially be a major Thing.

It seems that this card is saying that while he does expect formality of me, he will be equally formal; the balance between us must be maintained in the way we interact as well.

What will this formality look like in my practice?

8 of Pentacles

This is yet another pentacles card, and the number 8 in tarot is about change and movement.  With this card, [deity] is saying that he would, essentially, be another Mentor to me.  It got a very strong mental image of him sitting across from me, like I was asking him for advice on things.

I’m still putting my Darkness practice together–how will building a relationship with you not detract from that?

4 of Swords

The swords are cards of action, and fours in tarot are a number of foundation, as well as this particular card being about rest.  I think [deity] is saying that building a somewhat formal relationship with him might help me in building a more structured relationship/practice with Darkness as a whole.

I have next to no room for a shrine, and food/drink offerings are a Beloveds-only thing.  I’m also about to start a new semester of college, some I have limited time as well.  

What offerings will you accept, knowing these limitations?

The Hanged Man (rev)

This is a card about sacrifice, but being reversed…it doesn’t feel like “my message to you,” it feels more like “this is something we can negotiate over time, I don’t want to see you run yourself ragged in the name of ‘devotion.’”

Which backs up the first reading I did with him, where he gave me a reversed Fool card and said “don’t throw yourself into this headfirst, you’ll toss yourself off a cliff and that’s not good for either of us.”

The outside reading I got mentioned *worship*, and [due to things involving my “father,” plus my obsessive thought patterns] my anxiety went into overdrive.

I think we might be getting some communication lines mixed up, what did you mean by “worship?”

3 of Swords (rev)

Again, reading this as a “my message to you” card.

The 3 of Swords is about betrayal, Heart-break, and moving on from said trauma.  [Deity] has made it clear that moving on from the events of the past year is something he wants to help me (and Darkness) with, and he thinks a more formal relationship structure could help me with that, as well as with bad brain stuff I’ve been dealing with.

What does this look like in practical terms?

8 of Wands

This is a card of movement and change.  I feel like [deity] is saying that this structured, formal relationship style will mean some (potentially major) changes to my practice, and will help me move on from the stagnation I’ve found myself beginning to fall into.

If I may ask, what is your relationship with the King of All Darkness?

3 of Pentacles (rev)

Another “my answer to your question” reversal.

I sensed a smile when I asked that question, and the card he gave me backed up that while they may both be Kings, and essentially business partners with an Alliance between their Realms, that there’s also an element of friendship between the two of them.

Is there anything else I should know about this potential relationship (between us) right now?

Ace of Wands

This is potentially a new beginning on my path–I’ve been dragging my feet with all the trauma and Heart break of the past year, and while [deity] does not blame me at all for being skittish, he also thinks it’s time I start doing more.  Taking small steps in a way to re-start my practice; my practice with Darkness, and the g/Gods and p/People within that Realm, is something that is supposed to bring me joy, not tear me down.

While I haven’t said “yes” to anything right now, and I’m still considering what [deity] has to offer me, I’ve agreed that we’ll meet in a month’s time to discuss his offer of a formal relationship.

This gives me time to consider what kind of offerings will work best, as well as discussing with my Beloveds and the Others about what a formal relationship with [this deity] means in terms of my Darkness practice, and my relationships with them, as well as Darkness as a Realm.

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