Cultivate joy is the main takeaway I’ve gotten from a tarot reading I did with [the new god in my life.] I had been expecting an incredibly harsh reading, expecting the god to burn the remainder of my proverbial house down. While he did give me a bunch of Wand cards, which are connected to fire, the things he told me I need to leave behind were all connected to Otherworld trauma, and my isolating myself because of that trauma.
The next thing I have to do is figure out how to put that into practice.
A card [this deity] gave me called me out on still waiting for more traumatic things to happen, and that waiting for more horrible things to happen was leading to me falling into stagnation, rather than actually healing. J had said the same thing to me several days before that reading, that I was terrified with [new deity] approaching me. He said that I was using that fear as a reason to stall on making any decision about working with [this new god], or about where my path would go next.
I’ll admit to being confused when [new deity] gave me this song during a reading I did with him. It’s very much a worship song, and while [new deity] does want a formal relationship, he wants us to have a relationship as equals (as much as we can,) rather than as a god and a devotee.
It took listening to the song a few more times, before the point he was trying to get across sank in. He was referencing my deity “father” and all the past year’s trauma, how deeply that had hurt me; my “father” had said I was “the only one” who could Do The Thing, and with being approached by a recorded god for the first time in over a year, I was terrified that [new deity] would only use me.
This song was a way of [this new deity] reassuring me that not only was he aware of everything my “father” had put me through, but also telling me that my working with him (if I choose to do so) is going to be a team effort between us.
So, some bullet points of ideas on cultivating beauty, love, and joy, as well as actively working on healing
- Write more, either poetry or short stories
- Work on art, like drawing or knitting
- Spend time with my f/Family and f/Friends, both Here and Over There
- Spend time with my Otherworld Family that has nothing to do with devotion in a spiritual path sense