I decided to participate in this month’s Carnival of Aces.
How did your (a)sexual and (a)romantic orientations impact your (expected or imagined) future?
The main ways that being asexual (and, to some extent, aromantic) has impacted my future is that it has changed the way I view relationships. It’s actually made me more comfortable with the idea of being in a relationship, rather than less.
Before I knew I was ace, I had never really pictured myself as being in a relationship, the idea made me uncomfortable for reasons that I could never put into words. I think what made me uncomfortable about it was that so often, a romantic relationship is portrayed as making the other person involved your entire world, and I knew I didn’t want my entire world to revolve around just one person (at the time I didn’t know I was polyamorous, and that I can balance multiple romantic relationships.)
I really do believe that coming out as asexual was a stepping stone to me coming out as transgender. Once I started questioning my sexual orientation, it was a stepping stone to questioning my gender identity.
Realizing I’m asexual was both a relief, and it flipped my world around. It didn’t flip my world upside down entirely, but it shook my world up just enough that it threw me off balance for a while. It was, I suppose, the beginning of really learning about who I am.