Pure Life

Trigger warning, I briefly mention deity related violence (that could be read as abusive) in this post.

I had an emotional flashback the other day.  A small, everyday, action suddenly reminded me of a blog post where someone talked about being killed by their god, how they romanticized that, and wished for it to happen.

Dearest one?  Are you all right?

I felt my Spouse sit down beside me, his hand lightly resting on my shoulder.  He’d noticed my change in mood instantly, had seen how I’d frozen up.  I explained, as best as I could, what was going through my mind.

Dearest Heart, he said, I want you to live–not for me, he added, simply to live.  That’s the best offering you could possibly give me.

“I have seen you at the end of this night
You were brilliant and you were beautiful
And for whatever it is worth, I love you
More than you will ever know”

–“Pure Life,” by Blutengel

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