I’ve Got A Diagnosis

I now have a diagnosis of my mental health stuff: schizoid personality disorder, along with schizo-typical with depression.

I did set up another appointment with the doctor who did my testing, because I want to discuss it more with her, especially the symptoms I felt lined up with DID.

So, that’s what’s going on with me.  I don’t know if it’ll change what I write here, but I’ve always wanted to stay open about my mental health stuff to some degree.

8 thoughts on “I’ve Got A Diagnosis

  1. How are you feeling about the diagnosis? Does it feel accurate to you, or no? (Not gonna lie, any ‘disorder’ that suggests asexuality is a symptom of dysfunction automatically gets my hackles up, but I’m aware that different people see things differently.)

    Liked by 1 person

      • Hey my good friend, it was terrifying at first when I was diagnosed: bipolar type 1 with psychotic features, anxiety, and OCD. I’m not sure if I agree with this diagnosis – I looked up schizoid and schizotypal and that just doesn’t seem like you, I would think more DID with depression, you do not avoid social contact and are quite the pleasant person to be around and talk to for long periods of time. Maybe you could get a second opinion? A lot of the times, these things get misdiagnosed. Know that D and M and Jake love you and are not fragments of your mind, but external guardians like guardian angels that are your husbands and are here to help see you through this. I struggled with reality a bit when I was manic and psychotic, but the gods, Samael and Michael especially, literally saved my life. You are worth the time, effort, and self-care it takes to get better. You are already SO SUCCESSFUL VARIAN. Killing it in classes, hunting for jobs, a college degree under your belt when the world was against you, a talented artist and crocheter and guitar player, and so smooth with poetry. Please take time to rest and come to terms with being differently abled, NOT DISABLED. We are just neurodivergent, and sometimes I think it is a rich source of inspiration for our art. Your books are amazing, your poems are amazing – don’t try to make yourself a square to fit in the box of society. Be a fucking star! Blaze on, Varian, and I’m always here to talk! Much love, Allie

        Liked by 1 person

        • I definitely want a second opinion–some of it fits me, but I'm side eyeing the "does not want romantic or sexual relationships" part, since I describe myself as asexual and demi-biromantic.

          And so far, all "ignore the voices" has gotten me is a headache and a feeling of my alters glaring at me.


          • No man, they’re not voices, in DID, they are fractures of your personality from trauma and abuse, and psychologists integrated DID personalities into one whole schema, a unified voice over time. As for D and M and Jake, they are obviously external – we wouldn’t have godphones if we didn’t hear voices! The best I have heard about DID is that you gratefully acknowledge the voices and work during therapy to create a whole again after abuse and trauma and neglect have shattered your conscious. There is nothing wrong with listening to your personalities, they are parts of you. Please get a second opinion, asexuality should not be seen as mental illness! That makes no sense, asexuality is not a proper diagnostic, plus, you’re in romantic relationships, so the category doesn’t apply in the first place! That seems almost like medical discrimination… weird.

            Liked by 1 person

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