In the Otherworlds, one of Jake’s monastery brothers made a knitting loom for me as a wedding present. I was looking up what the looms are like (and loom knitting had been recommended to me before) when I found one for a good price, thanks to the sale that was going on. The loom is adjustable, so it can be changed for any size of project I’d want to make on it, which is really cool.
The loom arrived two days before my and Jake’s wedding. After several YouTube videos, I got the basic e-wrap stitch learned, and I know how to purl on the loom as well. The part of loom knitting I struggled with at the beginning was the tension–I’m a tight knitter when I’m using traditional knitting needles, but loom knitting needs to be loose.
I cast on a blanket that I had the yarn for (which led to Jake’s dad making terrible “tying the knot” puns as I worked on the blanket) and so far I really like how it’s turning out. I’ve found that loom knitting really *can* be faster than needle knitting, as long as the tensionis right. If I was working on this blanket (105 stitches a row, in worsted weight yarn) on traditional knitting needles, I would be getting a row or two done a day–with my loom, I’ve gotten 24 rows done in three days.
Even when I first knew you as a god of death, even then you were gentle with me. You never ripped my Heart to pieces in order to expose the gaping wounds from my past–I do well enough of a job at that, as you have pointed out to me time and again.
You urge me to have a complete life Here, rather than living halfway between two worlds. You want me to have my feet firmly planted on the ground, in my life Here. You said I was correct, that a lack of astral travel doesn’t prevent me from communicating with you. I’m developing my own discernment system, and as things get clearer, I find that I am healing more and more, even if that healing is only in small amounts.
I guess healing is becoming the theme for this month, Beloved.
My practice as it stands right now is very simple. I offer my deity Beloveds my first cup of coffee in the morning, for the three of us to share. If either of them drop by during the day, we talk, and they keep me in the loop about what’s going on Over There. In the evening I’ll spend quiet time with whichever of my Beloved/s is around, simply enjoying each other’s company. If I have the time and/or spoons, I’ll do a quick shufflemancy reading before I go to bed (music has become my favorite style of divination.)
As I work to ground myself more in my life Here, and work out what’s a true Spiritual Thing, and what’s a reaction due to bad brain chemistry, isolation, and/or trauma, I’ve found that I’m beginning to feel better. That’s partly why I’ve been quiet, rather than writing for my Beloved every day–the other reason is that my family is moving soon, and my life is currently a chaotic mess of boxes and packing stuff up.
This isn’t shadow work–my Beloved isn’t the type to take my wounds and poke around at them, seeing how much they still hurt. He’s much more likely to suggest solutions, small ways that I can gently work on healing, rather than ripping off the bandages I’ve placed on my Heart.
Last year, the theme that arose during the month of writing for my Beloved is that we are not one person [link]. I’m still early in the month of writing for him this year, but so far he’s been rather hands-off when it comes to prompts.
Looking back over the writing I did for my Beloved last year, I can see just how much I’ve improved in my mental health. I still have days, even weeks, when I struggle, but I can see a noticeable difference over how I was doing last year.
I bought this deck from PixelOccult’s Etsy [link] in early December, and this has quickly become my go-to deck. It’s become my mental health deck, and I do readings with it when I either need to check in, or when my symptoms start flaring up.
I love the art style, it’s adorable while still being slightly ominous in certain cards. I especially love that there’s very little nudity (and what nudity there is, it’s artistic and something I’m comfortable with.)
Each suite is color coded, but the colors are muted and dark. It’s a somber feeling deck, but I wouldn’t describe it as being “dark” in tone.
The deck shuffle easily, and it’s held up well over the four months that I’ve been using it. It comes in a very nice ridged box, which I really like. My one complaint is that the text in the guidebook is really small, but I love that the author included reversed meanings in the book, not just the upright meanings. Overall I’d highly recommend this deck.
One thing my Beloved has been helping me on is loving myself. It’s been a struggle since I was young, feeling like if I was “myself” around people, I would be shunned because of the things I liked. I’ve always been drawn to “dark” things, and I’ve struggled with feeling like I need to hide everything I’m interested in.
As my Beloved put it during a divination session the other day: “loving yourself can come in small steps; enjoying playing as a necromancer in Grim Dawn can be a good first step.”
I’ve written before that dark, death related things are the exact opposite of my Beloved’s tastes, but he supports me in my interests, and that means a lot to me.