Astral Dreams Are Back

My astral dreams are back,
dreams of meetings and Alliances

long discussions over coffee and paperwork
of what we all gain from this political Work.

These dreams are quiet, but still tiring,
I hope my Beloveds and I can relax soon.

To My Psychiatrist

“Here’s your new meds,”
but you didn’t tell me
how much it costs, or

that there’s a long list of side effects
and these are including death.

I’m not schizophrenic, so
why are you still putting me
on anti psychotics?

WIP Wednesday, First Section Done

I’m quickly making progress on my current project [link.] I finished the first pattern repeat yesterday, and you can see that the lace is starting to come together already. It’s going to need to be blocked when I’m done, but I love how it’s looking already.

I think I’m in love with both this pattern and the yarn. If the Gentle Armour collection was still available in book form, I’d be purchasing the book–and I never buy full pattern books, only individual patterns.

I think this is the clearest written lace pattern I’ve read so far in my journey to attempt lace. I can clearly understand how it’s set up, and the 20 row repeat is both soothing to work on, yet complex enough that it holds my interest.

Writing Plans

Over the month of September, the Queen wants me to study the runes. A poem or prose piece a day, until I’ve worked through all 25 (with some room to move the schedule around, if I’m traveling or don’t have time.) Yes, she does want me to add the blank rune in, even though I know that’s a modern invention, and not historical–oh. Right. Modern culture stuff is like, my entire path. *faceplam*

During October, we’ve talked about doing the Month of Written Devotion challenge (I typically write for the Madman during October, but he’s the one who suggested this idea to me in the first place.) I’ll be taking the trial run version of my Oath to her at the end of the month, so that’ll be a nice way to prepare.

I think I’ll do these writings for the Queen over on her blog [link] so follow that one if you want to see these writing projects.

With Ease in Lilac

Remember how I said I’m not a lace knitter?

I went to the yarn store yesterday to buy some stitch markers, looked around at yarn, and this beautiful lilac Cascade Vienzia yarn [link] caught my eye. I’ve worked with Cascade yarns before, and they’ve always been wonderful to work with, though I’ve never worked with their silk yarns.

It feels wonderful in my hands (it’s a blend of merino and silk) and the worsted weight makes it easy to see my work. I tend to work in DK weight or heavier yarns because of my vision problems, trying to work with fingering weight yarns has always led to me ripping projects apart in frustration. The stitch definition of this yarn is wonderful, and the yarn is very easy to knit with.

I’ve had my eye on the Gentle Armour collection [link] for a while now, and when I got home I pulled up Ravelry to see what I had in my library that I could make with 600 yards of worsted weight yarn (yes, I bought yarn without a project in mind.) I ended up purchasing the pattern for With Ease [link], because it looked like it would be a way to stretch my knitting skills, but not so frustrating I hated it.

I’m just getting into the first section, and so far it’s both a fun and challenging knit. I do have to look at the instructions (I can’t read lace charts to save my life) and I’ve had to look up what an sk2p decrease was. However, I’d found that having a lot of stitch markers help, so I mark every repeat of the pattern, and that’s making it much easier.

A Break Up Poem

Our hearts suddenly broken
you left us with nothing but questions.

A door slammed in my face
when I asked if you were okay,

I put your shrine things away
now you have no space in our lives

except for Jake’s tears at your absence
and my sorrow when I see silly sci-fi.

Let It Burn

Today is New Years in Darkness, but it’s a somber day for me. The past few days have been filled with drama among my closest group of friends, and I learned that someone I considered one of my best friends was datamining my practice, and copying my experiences.

I woke up this morning feeling a hug from Jake, and got a download of my Other Self’s activities–He had lit a list of things on fire that He wanted to let go of, as is traditional, and He’d included [my “friend”‘s name] on that list.

I talked it over with Jake, and I did a version of the ritual Here that works with my limited sight. I wrote the list down, but instead of actual fire, I placed the list beneath the candle on my Queen’s shrine [I use electric candles for safety purposes.] I asked her to help me in burning the things I wish to let go of, and thanked her for being there for me through all the awfulness that the past few days have been.

I have some goals for the new year, and I might write about those another time. Right now I’m feeling sad at a friendship lost, but also glad I can leave it behind in the past.