Hiatus, For Now

Hello,

This is one of Varian’s alters typing this. I’m assuming he’s written about his Dissociative Identity Disorder on here? Looking at the categories, he has, okay then.

V hasn’t been around much these days–it’s me and S sharing hosting duties, and V has been spending more and more time away from the front lately. It’s been V writing the posts on his blogs, by the way–he’ll front long enough to write something, then go back to the headspace again.

I know he’s got a project going on his blog for “Mother Death” (as he calls her) but that’s probably going to be on hiatus until he comes back. As far as I know the other one he was going to do here on WP has been cancelled due to lack of spoons, and, well, him being gone.

He’s still around in the headspace, by the way. He did try to leave, but the High King (I think?) turned him back and told him that he *has* to live on Earth. So he *is* okay, just not in front right now.

I wanted to write a post so his friends know what’s going on, and because his friends would have some idea of what it is I’m talking about.

–A, protector of the system

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I Tried to Leave

I tried to leave this life and world behind.

I tried to slip out of the doorway
of this life, since someone else had
taken over, and found myself in Darkness.

“Go back” where the words that met
my ears, “you need to live, on Earth.”

I am angry, Beloved, that you turned me away,
and I am remorseful, that I tried to leave, and
you are correct, in the question you asked me:
What is it about your life you hate so much?

I go from shock, to grief, to anger; it is not
one thing that makes me hate this world and life;
the pain lies in being taught to hate it from childhood.

Astral Dreams Are Back

My astral dreams are back,
dreams of meetings and Alliances

long discussions over coffee and paperwork
of what we all gain from this political Work.

These dreams are quiet, but still tiring,
I hope my Beloveds and I can relax soon.

To My Psychiatrist

“Here’s your new meds,”
but you didn’t tell me
how much it costs, or

that there’s a long list of side effects
and these are including death.

I’m not schizophrenic, so
why are you still putting me
on anti psychotics?

WIP Wednesday, First Section Done

I’m quickly making progress on my current project [link.] I finished the first pattern repeat yesterday, and you can see that the lace is starting to come together already. It’s going to need to be blocked when I’m done, but I love how it’s looking already.

I think I’m in love with both this pattern and the yarn. If the Gentle Armour collection was still available in book form, I’d be purchasing the book–and I never buy full pattern books, only individual patterns.

I think this is the clearest written lace pattern I’ve read so far in my journey to attempt lace. I can clearly understand how it’s set up, and the 20 row repeat is both soothing to work on, yet complex enough that it holds my interest.

Writing Plans

Over the month of September, the Queen wants me to study the runes. A poem or prose piece a day, until I’ve worked through all 25 (with some room to move the schedule around, if I’m traveling or don’t have time.) Yes, she does want me to add the blank rune in, even though I know that’s a modern invention, and not historical–oh. Right. Modern culture stuff is like, my entire path. *faceplam*

During October, we’ve talked about doing the Month of Written Devotion challenge (I typically write for the Madman during October, but he’s the one who suggested this idea to me in the first place.) I’ll be taking the trial run version of my Oath to her at the end of the month, so that’ll be a nice way to prepare.

I think I’ll do these writings for the Queen over on her blog [link] so follow that one if you want to see these writing projects.