This is a depiction of an astral event.  It seems that drawing is the best way for me to process all of this.  (The drawing is done is ballpoint pen and colored pencils.)

20171027_191901There’s a lot of traditions in Darkness connected to hair, especially among the Royalty.  (It’s when I freaked out so much when the Dreamer cut his hair, because a King doesn’t just cut all his hair off on a whim, it’s a Very Serious action.)  One of those traditions involves ribbons being woven into someone’s hair when they enter a Family, and taking them out isn’t something done lightly.  Lighting them on fire is even more of a “we’re done, it’s over” gesture.

The red ribbons are the Dreamer’s from his Father, and the green ones are mine (I never actually got any hair ribbons from my “Father,” since he’s from a different Pantheon, but I wanted something to show burning that relationship as well.)

So yeah, that is…a thing that happened.  Hopefully this will help us both move on from losing people we once loved and looked up to.


Judge Me by My Own Light

A drawing I did to help me process Otherworld events.

This is part of a dream I had updating me on what’s going on Over There, and this is what I remember clearest.  The mental image of a torch and a sword stuck with me, so I thought I’d draw it.


During the events this depicts, I was holding the torch and sword above My head, but I didn’t want to try and draw My hair (which is a mess of red waves that I’m slowly growing out, because in the Realm My Beloveds and I are from, long hair and Kingship are connected.)

The caption reads Judge Me by My own Light (for Light is the Left Hand of Darkness.)

Ballpoint pen and colored pencils.

Art Lessons from the Dreamer

With the rumble of thunder, I sensed a soft thump, then his energy.  I looked up to see him standing in my living room, his blue-black wings shimmering behind him.

“Hi.”  I nodded to the sketchbook I’d propped up on my knee.  “I can’t think of what to draw.”

He sat down at me feet and grinned up at me.  “I could model for you.”

“Do I need to remind you that I technically can’t see you?”

“You could draw a rose,” the Dreamer suggested, “they’re all angles and lines.  So are other flowers, but roses especially.”

“You sound like an art teacher,” I said as I pulled up pictures of roses on my phone.

“I have done that,” he said, “taught some art classes.”  He laughed at the surprised look on my face.  “I’ve been painting for years,” he said with a shrug, “I may as well teach others.”

He remained sitting at my feet as I worked, talking about drawing and the technical aspects of art.  He walked me through the outlining, starting from the outside and working my way into the center of the flower.


“Beautiful,” he said when I was finished.

“Keep that in your sketchbook,” he said, when I asked if he wanted the picture on his shrine, “I want you to see how you improve over time.”

(He said I should share the final picture as well as writing about it, if I’m comfortable doing so.)

It’s ballpoint pen (the outline) and colored pencils (the inside)

Art Adventures Begin, And A Realization

Today I bought a sketchbook and some colored pencils, because I’ve been wanting to get back into art after not having drawn anything for several years.

Then I remember that the Dreamer is an artist, and that he’s been gently encouraging me to get back into art and drawing for a while now.  Not for any sort of devotional activity, just that he thinks I’d enjoy it.  It makes me happy, that he’s encouraging my hobbies simply as things I enjoy doing.

That’s something that I’ve been noticing lately, that my Beloveds are encouraging my independence and balancing my “everyday” and spiritual life.  They’re helping me separate the “mundane” and spiritual, rather than bringing them closer together.  I’m going to have to sit with that realization for a bit, but it reminds me of the Madman’s comment about faith that ebbs and flows.