This was going to be a poem *for* the Queen, then it turned into a poem where I rambled to her about upcoming evens in my Otherworld life. I guess this poem also doubles as the official announcement that my deity Beloveds and I are planning on having children (which I vague blogged about (link) earlier this year.) I don’t know how much I’ll write about that going forward, but this poem makes it pretty obvious, and they’re okay with me mentioning it in public.
Darkness is changing, Mother, I feel it
even a world away. The vision of my children,
and the recent crowning of the Future King, what is
this all leading to? I pray that these new lives do not
have Fate weighing them down from birth, that they
may be children, that they are simply innocent lives
over the years in my arms. Darkness is not demanding
these children, they are born of Love, yet I feel the Land almost
holding Its breath, as though waiting to see how we Three Kings are
equipped to handle being fathers. I will not have so-called “destiny”
resting on our children’s shoulders, for in that is nothing but burdens
ones who are so young must never carry. I find that I am longing to be a
father, I’ve had many dreams and visions giving confirmation, yet I am
anxious about their arrival into the world of Darkness. I pray that their
lives are filled with nothing but Love, Mother. I pray that I am able to
love them as they need to be loved, even Here, a universe away.
Darkness is not a place of brutality. The goddess thinks this as she rises to her feet, her eyes lingering on the man who could be her exact opposite, they look so much alike. They both have the same dark skin, long black hair, and burning yellow eyes. But, she reflects, these features are common across the Otherworlds.
Her twin–and she had begun to think of him as such, though he was from a very different world than hers–rises to his feet as well, having collected, then cleaned, the arrows she had shot. He passes them to her without a word, their hands briefly touching, before he picks up a bow and arrows of his own.
She wonders what he think of, as he draws his bow back; she knows a bit of his story, that he is on the run from those in his Father’s Court who would kill him. But he is silent about his path to Darkness, and she knows that the Far Ones, and her ghosts, do not let anyone stay in these woods without a reason.
The last two years, I’ve done a devotional writing project over the month of December. Last night, I sat down at my shrine and asked if I should do it this year.
The Queen showed up, and we ended up talking about my depression and the emotional flashbbacks that I’ve been having. She said that if I do this project again this year, to look at my motivations for doing so. She suggested that I don’t do it with anyone specific in mind [last year I wrote for Winter’s Sovereign,] but more for Darkness overall, to writhe about the values and things I’ve learned.
I pulled out my general Darkness tarot, and it backed up what the Queen said. Right now I’m learning towards doing the project, but I’m also giving myself permission to not need to write every day.
Lady of the Gallows
Mother of Beasts
veiled in gray,
you tell me my fears
are nothing I have not faced before.