Changing Aspects Are Melting My Brain

I’m just writing to put words down on paper, and to maybe get some ideas from other people.  I’ve had brain melting stuff happen before–for fuck’s sake, I went from knowing my deities as recorded gods to unrecorded gods, so why is a shift in focus like this breaking my gods damned brain so much???

The change that’s going on in my practice right now is that the Queen–who I most often refer to as “Mother Death”–wants to drop the “death” part of that, and for me to focus on her as Mother, and as a goddess of Family and Home.

I have no idea why, but my Queen shifting aspects on me–even though I know at least part of the reason why–is brain breaking for me?

Tbh I’m just as baffled as to why I’m having brain melting feelings, as to the shift in aspect.  Maybe I should get an outside reading on this?

Research Help?

Today I did my full moon tarot reading, and got called out on focusing on the Queen as Death, and reminded that she’s also a goddess of family and home.  I should maybe be focusing on those aspects more than on Herself-as-Death.

On that subject, of focusing on my Queen’s other aspects–especially her as a Mother goddess, as a goddess of Family and Home–does anyone know of any sources on deities like that, that aren’t full of T/E/RF// bullshit?

I know she’s an unrecorded deity, but I have a feeling I should be looking for outside sources as well.

That’s…A Lot of Coffee

So as I wrote about in my last post, I promised the Queen some fancy coffee, in exchange for her helping me through this final week at my job at call center hell.

Except…I think I overestimated how much coffee is in a pound of coffee.

It’s chocolate flavored, which surprised me that she selected that one. It is just sweet enough that I can tolerate drinking it black (which is how she likes her coffee, and I eat my offerings of food) though I think it tastes better with at least some milk and sugar in it.

I explained to her that I overestimated how much coffee there would be, and could it be expanded to be offerings for the Royal Family, instead of just her? She said that was fine, so it’s now my morning coffee offering for my deity Beloveds, as well as being for her.

I sent that picture to a friend of mine, who laughed and said “it looks like you’ll be working with her for a while.”

My Life Right Now

I also posted this over at my blog for the Queen [link.]

Me, before I became a polytheist: I’ve always been drawn to death related stuff, but have never explored it. I kind of want to, but it’s scary.

Me now, praying to Death: *slides a cup of black coffee her way* Okay Mom, idk why you like this stuff with no flavor, but help me get through this next week of my job, and I’ll buy you some special bitter bean juice of your choice.

*********

And upon promising her some special coffee of her choice for helping me get through my final week of my call center job from hell, her twin’s response was a blend of horror and laughter. He knows just how bitter she likes her coffee.

Life Update, and Side-eyeing Mother Death

Back in October, I finally got a job. It’s a call center job, which I hate.

I recently had an appointment with a specialist, because I’m having voice strain issues due to my job. Like, speaking can be physically difficult level of voice issues.

I also learned that I’m possibly having throat issues–issues that wouldn’t have been caught without that specialist appointment, due to vocal issues at my shitty job.

I’m side eyeing e/Everyone hardcore right now, especially Mother Death. Just. Is the coincidence, or is it A Thing???