More Divination (Newbie Devotee Challenge)

Day 19: Set aside some quality time for you and your deity. Using a communication method of your choice, discuss the events of this challenge with them. Tell them why you took up this challenge. Ask for their opinion of all of the work you put into it.  Discuss their response.

[After checking that she’s available to talk]

What did you think of my doing the challenge overall?

King of Wands

She’s happy about it, and thinks that this has been a good way for me to take charge of my own devotional life.

I began this challenge to learn more about you, before becoming your devotee.

The Chariot (rev.)

I sensed a nod from her, and she’s reminding me that becoming her devotee is a slow process, like the growth of a tree.

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Offerings (Newbie Devotee Challenge)

Day 17: How did your deity respond to the different offerings you gave? Discuss their response.  

I pulled out the music divination to ask her about it.

Are you available to talk?

“Awakenings,” by Symphony X

Upbeat song, so yes.

What do you think of the offerings I’ve made for you with this challenge?

“Nothing Like the Rain,” by The Awakening

Upbeat song, so she likes them.  From the lyrics, I get the feeling that my healing work is the better offering, rather than anything I can put on her shrine.

Okay, I may draw you a picture once I find my sketch book.

“A New Dawn to Rise,” by Blutengel

Upbeat goth song, she likes the idea.

*********

I was squinting at the goth songs, since that’s her twin’s favorite style of music.  She then pointed out that that’s a style of music that brings me comfort, and that I feel the most like “myself” with.

How will their opinion of these offerings influence future offerings you make to them?

I’m going to do what I’ve been doing, my morning/evening prayers to her, and occasional offerings such as art or music as I feel drawn to do so.

Runes (Newbie Devotee Challenge)

Day 11: Try using a different method, one that you have either never used or rarely used, to try speaking to your deity. Discuss the results.

I rarely use runes, even though the Queen has told me that she wants her own set, made of wood (which I’ve ordered, since I lack the carving skills to make my own set.)  I downloaded an app on my phone, since my sea stone runes are still lost in storage somewhere.

Are you available to talk?

Kenaz

A rune of spirituality, a clear “yes.”

Okay, anything specific you want to talk about?

Laguz

This rune is about water, healing, and about Life related energy.

Is this about the Heart Thing?

Mannaz

A rune about the self, which is what the Heart symbolism links back to.  It’s about healing, especially healing from my past.

Okay, does the Heart symbolism have anything to do with be becoming your devotee?

Eihwaz

A rune of enlightenment and purposefulness.  Yeah, this sounds like her and what being her devotee means.

Okay, I have a feeling that I’m just skimming the surface of the runes.  Anything else?

The rune I drew felt “wrong,” I’m taking that as a “no.”

As I said in the reading, I feel like I’m just skimming the surface of the runes.  I’m aware that, like tarot, they can be incredibly deep.  I think that once I get a set specific for her, that readings with her might become easier when using runes.

A Reading with the Queen

This morning I pulled out the Queen’s tarot deck and did a reading with her.  The spread is the A Question for the Deity spread [link] by Jeff at tarotwithjeff [link] on Instagram.  The deck is the Raven’s Prophecy tarot.

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It’s a more structured spread than I normally do, but it did help clarity what the process of becoming her devotee will mean for me.  I won’t go into everything she and I discussed, but a lot of it involves letting go of old hurts, that shame towards being myself that goes all the way back to my childhood.

I look at what it is she’s set out for me to do, and it seems so minor, admitting and being comfortable with liking dark things (she cheered me on for not putting quotes around the word dark.)  And yet, that fear and pain of having to hide everything I was/am interested in, that goes all the way back to when I was a kid; those are emotions I’ve been carrying around (and burying really deep) my whole life.

She says that shadow work isn’t quite the phrase she’d use to describe this, since she’s being rather gentle about the whole thing.  Like my calling myself her devotee, it’s the closest I can get in English (which reminds me that I need to write a new evening prayer to her) but that astral language barrier is still there.

Now I’m going to go listen to some death metal, and if anyone asks, I’m going to actually say that I’m listening to Sisters of Suffocation, rather than lying and saying the music is on shuffle.

Sinking Wasteland Tarot

I bought this deck from PixelOccult’s Etsy [link] in early December, and this has quickly become my go-to deck.  It’s become my mental health deck, and I do readings with it when I either need to check in, or when my symptoms start flaring up.

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I love the art style, it’s adorable while still being slightly ominous in certain cards.  I especially love that there’s very little nudity (and what nudity there is, it’s artistic and something I’m comfortable with.)

Each suite is color coded, but the colors are muted and dark.  It’s a somber feeling deck, but I wouldn’t describe it as being “dark” in tone.

The deck shuffle easily, and it’s held up well over the four months that I’ve been using it.  It comes in a very nice ridged box, which I really like.  My one complaint is that the text in the guidebook is really small, but I love that the author included reversed meanings in the book, not just the upright meanings.  Overall I’d highly recommend this deck.

My Sunday So Far…

What I was going to do: a tarot reading to check in and see how things are going in the Otherworld

What I got: told that I’m seen as totally human Here, and to stop certain habits that help supply my anxiety that everything is going to blow up in my face

Nothing Major is Happening Right Now

Right now I’m at a point in my spiritual life where nothing major is going on, and for some reason I feel like writing about it.  It’s not a fallow time; my deity Beloveds are busy right now with work, and they both drop by to spend time with me when they can.  The spirits are quiet, and so are my People.

I pulled out my mental health deck, and did a quick tarot reading.  The reading indicated that this year is going to be a quiet one when it comes to astral drama and Otherworld shenanigans.  It said that I’ll still be celebrating holidays, and spending time with my Loved Ones, but it also cautioned me about excess worrying (especially worrying that a long period of quiet=shit’s about to hit the fan.)