You watch as I descend into
the shattered parts of my mind
you cannot rescue me–and I’ve
been on the other side of this
you as you’ve fallen and tumbled
into memories long past and thought
you push me towards sunlight and stained glass
and sandstone streets, because soon you will be
to go where none can follow (except one other,
and you are bound by your shared Hearts)
I wanted to write joy for you, and instead
my mind keeps screaming and bringing up
of the past, the very thing you asked me not
to dwell upon, for those memories are cracks and
upon my Heart, and I feel as though I am lost
and that my own lantern is just out of reach.
Spring is here, the harvest,
the mountains and valleys
alive with song and fruit.
The light is slowly fading
to the heat of Summer, to the
Festival of Hearts, in which we
gather our loved ones close
for soon the Hunt shall ride
and Love will be our only Light.
We are a family of scapegoats and would-be sacrifices,
a legacy that comes with a cost of damnation, and our rage
is great, and we mourn the family that could have been.
Fire has burned away the “greater good,” but still My son dreams
of his Father drowning, still the rage for those who have been broken
rises in Me, still the sorrow of betrayal and of ribbons burning lingers.
A new dawn has risen, yet again mourning hits Me–and you once said
I would die, in your cryptic fucking song–the only death to happen was
My grief–I have dyed My hair black, to erase you and your violence.
I walk through sandstone streets, King of those you would have broken;
I hear the laughter of children, talk with My Ally and Friend over coffee,
there is peace, Spring is here; your legacy of pain is being undone by Love.
Long your ships have traveled
even longer is the train ride
and long will be your journey back
but, my Love, you are patient. You know
that to be able to find a way Home
is the most precious gift of all.
I dream of his shaking voice
his question “who are you?”
still resonating when I wake.
I dream of the stars reaching down
to court him, to lift him up, I dream
again of a ship sailing the stars.
I dream of the past
that I missed.
I dream of them exchanging Hearts.
When I wake, I feel as though I understand their bond, why it’s a million levels and layers deep. To exchange breath is one thing, a blood oath is another, but to exchange Hearts…that is something else entirely.
They are bound together to the point that not even death can keep them apart.
I am not supposed to be here
but I have stumbled through my dreams
to you, this rocking wooden place
between the stars.
I am on a boat and
you are at the helm
dressed in black and sorrow.