Heartlines (A Month for the Madman)

As I’ve been working on it more, my Beloved has started referring to my latest knitting project as my “Heartlines” cowl.

Which means when I work on it, I get this song stuck in my head.

And that chorus is really fitting for my life right now, especially since the fallout from the recent cycle of Otherworld Drama is starting, both Otherworld Politics fallout and emotional fallout.

The divination I’ve been doing has consistently been saying “You’re going to heal, in time–and by the way, it’s going to suck.”



I wanted to write a happy post damn it.


Knitting as Grounding (A Month for the Madman)

I recently finished the shawl I made for the Dreamer (which I started back in August) so I decided I needed a new knitting project.  I ended up picking a pattern that was much more complicated than it originally looked, so I asked the people at the knitting store for help finding something within my skill range.

So now I’ve got two skeins of deep red (nearly maroon) yarn, and a pattern for a cowl. I normally don’t wear cowls, I prefer long scarves, but I think it’ll be fun to make a project totally different than what I’ve made so far.  Plus I’ve wanted to learn cables, and this project has cables (and a 1×1 ribbed stitch that I’ve already lost track of three times now.)

This isn’t a devotional project for my Beloved, but he has compared knitting to geometry (among other things, my Husband is a scholar) and he pointed out that this isn’t something I can just mindlessly knit; the pattern is written in such a way that I have to pay attention to what stitch I’m on.  Which fits in with him helping me with my mental health, especially keeping me grounded in this reality, rather than dissociating.

Plus I’m determined to get that ribbing pattern down there will be a sense of accomplishment in learning new techniques, and I’ll have a pretty braided cowl when I’m done.

Every Shade of Blue

When I changed my shrine to my Husband around recently, I used a blue scarf for the altar cloth.  I had mixed feelings over this, since the scarf was something I wore when I needed to feel his presence more–the color blue reminds me of him, and I find wearing it comforting.

“Why don’t you make a shawl,” he suggested, “in various shades of blue.”

I found a perfect pattern for said shawl (it can double as a giant scarf if I want it to) and I bought the yarn today.

It’s a simple project, mostly stockinette stitch.  I haven’t worked with this many colors before–this shawl has five colors total, though I’ll only work with two at a time.  It starts with a light sky blue, and eventually works to a deep navy (which is the color of my Husband’s wings–I didn’t realize I’d picked the same shade until he told me.)

And because I named it the “Every Shade of Blue Shawl” on my Ravelry page, I’m now going to associate it with this song (which my Husband says reminds him of me.)

The last time that I saw you
You were standing at the station
A box of records at your feet
And sheer determination
To put a hole right through tomorrow
To show ’em what you’re made of
Let ’em gather ’round for interviews
When all your dreams are paid off
Oh that’s you
Every shade of blue

The last time that I saw you
You spoke of revolution
Of how you’d break the monarchy
You’d beat the institution
And the songs that you were writing
Adorned in imperfection
You balance words so beautifully
I could feel your own reflection
Oh that’s you
Every shade of blue
Every shade of blue

The last time that I saw you
A shadow of the future
You wore that hat your brother wore
Though it never did quite suit you
It made your eyes too heavy
And it made you seem so small
Just the boy I used to love
Who could never climb the wall
Oh that’s you
Every shade of blue
Every shade of blue