My 10 Stitch Blanket is continuing to grow. I call it (only half jokingly) the Apocalypse Blanket, it’s really soothing to work on, and is helping my mental health a lot these days. I’m also in love with gradient yarns, and the slow color change in this (from green to black) is very satisfying to watch.
The joins aren’t the neatest thing in the world, but I’m happy it’s teaching me how to join work like this. I’ve also learned how to do mitered corners, which I’ve found are best done in one sitting, rather than stopping in the middle.
TW of mention of The Virus, if you’re like me and fucking sick of it being everywhere.Also I curse more than usual in this post.
I had a panic related meltdown the other day, and decided that fuck this, I’m knitting a blanket. I’d already started one [link], but it had Magical Significance, and I (in the middle of my meltdown) told my Spouse that I do not have the energy for more magic. He gave me a hug, suggested I find a different pattern, and make one just for me out of the green/black yarn.
It’s a 10 Stitch Blanket [link] and so far the corners make my brain hurt. I can see that I *have* knitted a full corner, and another half corner, but tbh it’s hard to see I’m making progress until I look at it from a distance and see that I have a rectangle now.
So I started that in order to stay sane, hopefully it’ll help?
This entire virus thing is…weird as fuck, to be honest.
Like, I have anxiety and depression, which I’m pretty open about on this blog, along with Dissociative Identity Disorder. The anxiety and depression are managed with medication and grounding techniques, DID is lots of therapy, trauma work, and self work.
And yet…I’m calm????????
Like I’m worried, yeah. I have family who I don’t want to see affected by it, but we’re making jokes about toilet paper shortages, and why is all the yeast gone from the shelves??
I’m worried, but I’m not like…panicking?
I also feel like being disabled and unable to drive is…helping me cope with all this social/physical distancing stuff?
Like, I’ve had to find stuff I can do at home or without a lot of travel by necessity. My main hobbies are all things I can do at home, so I have stuff to do *looks at his knitting projects* that can help keep me occupied.
I’m getting a lot of writing done, which is helping me. I’ve learned that setting small goals is way easier for me to do for a writing session, rather than the word could goal for the story.
To end this post on a happy note, have a picture of my dog being cute.
That’s my first thought about 2019, to be honest. Looking back at my journal, a lot really did happen:
I became a father to two wonderful astral children
I got a job (then lost it two months later)
There was a shitstorm of a breakup with my platonic Otherworld partner
I lost one of my best friends
I got accused of faking DID by my ex-therapist, I promptly dumped him, and got my current therapist, who absolutely rocks
Trauma memories began to resurface
I think at least three new alters did the “HEY WE’RE OVER HERE” dissociative introduction thing that’s so fun /sarcasm
I began to formally work with the Queen of Darkness, which has been an immensely healing thing for me
So looking at that list above, a lot of stuff did happen. For some reason, it just doesn’t feel like a lot happened?
I don’t do much in the way of New Year’s resolutions, if I do come up with any I’ll write about them in another post. Now I’m going back to knitting and trying to recover from whatever plague I caught over Christmas.
This is one of Varian’s alters typing this. I’m assuming he’s written about his Dissociative Identity Disorder on here? Looking at the categories, he has, okay then.
V hasn’t been around much these days–it’s me and S sharing hosting duties, and V has been spending more and more time away from the front lately. It’s been V writing the posts on his blogs, by the way–he’ll front long enough to write something, then go back to the headspace again.
I know he’s got a project going on his blog for “Mother Death” (as he calls her) but that’s probably going to be on hiatus until he comes back. As far as I know the other one he was going to do here on WP has been cancelled due to lack of spoons, and, well, him being gone.
He’s still around in the headspace, by the way. He did try to leave, but the High King (I think?) turned him back and told him that he *has* to live on Earth. So he *is* okay, just not in front right now.
I wanted to write a post so his friends know what’s going on, and because his friends would have some idea of what it is I’m talking about.