Anniversary

In the midst of…everything around the world being total crap and possibly on fire, Jake and I are celebrating our first wedding anniversary today.

I did make a nice breakfast for us to share, and discovered that honey on cheese bread (I grabbed the wrong bread) is actually pretty good.

I love you, Jake, happy anniversary. ❤

Beloved Moodboard: My Friend of Silver Feathers

You are there
in the quiet moments
of my life, my beloved.

You remind me
to find joy in the
smallest of actions.

In the sunlight
dancing off your smile
and your songs in my Heart.

–for my husband, Jake. A gift for him, for finally getting his latest music project complete.

Image sources:  xx, x, x, x, x, x, x, x

I Found Love

Jake and I got married this morning in the Otherworld!  It was a beautiful, simple ceremony, and we’re both incredibly happy.

This is not only one of “our” songs, but Owl City is one of Jake’s favorite artists.

Relationship Developments <3

Jake brought up the subject of us getting married today (we’re currently engaged.) I initially wanted to wait another year to get married, since our relationship is, in part, an arranged one.  We *wanted* to be together, but past life ties, and Otherworld Politics, meant that we got engaged quickly.

I drew a few tarot cards, asking him if this had anything to do with Politics; I got 2 of Cups (minors mean “no” in my personal yes/no/maybe tarot system) and the card itself is about emotional, romantic relationships. I also drew the Sun, him reassuring me that he wants to bring joy to my life long term, and that he wants to be my husband.

I reached out to the Dreamer to let him know about this development, and my pendulum spun in such an enthusiastic, excited “yes!!!” circle that it nearly flew out of my hand.

Songs and Roses

You sing to me to leave my regrets
behind, in the shadows cast by
my past, and friends left behind.

The stained glass of your monastery
changes your silver robes to shimmering
rainbows, and you shine with Light, my love.

Your songs fill my dreams
with peace, and pale rose petals
unfurling, these are flowers of hope.

WIP Wednesday, Simple Gifts Scarf

I’ve found that I like having two knitting projects going at once; one that’s somewhat mindless so I can watch TV or listen to music while working on it, and one that’s more complex.

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This one is–despite the first section being garter stitch, and the second being stockinette–my more complex project (the easy one is a gift for a family member Here.) The yarn is an amazingly soft merino/silk/baby alpaca blend, and it’s my first “high end” yarn purchase.  I am in love with this yarn, not only does it feel wonderful to knit with, the fabric is just as soft as the yarn.

The pattern is the Beginner’s Stitch Sampler Scarf [link] and Jake was the one who chose the pattern.  The pattern has been modified slightly so that each square is slightly less than 6 inches long (I did this because I only have two skeins of this yarn) but I like the perfect squares so far.

Right now I’m at the basket weave stitch section, which is a new stitch to me.  I try to learn something new with every knitting project, and this pattern requires learning three new stitches.  So far I am loving this project.

What Is My Life (Beloveds and Christmas Music Edition)

The subject of Christmas music came up today….

Jake: Do you have the Becoming the Archetype version of “O Holy Night”?  It’s awesome.

Varian: Yeah, I’ve got it…Jake?

Jake: Yeah?

Varian: First of all, you’re not from Here. Second, you’re a monk in a completely different religion, I literally had to explain the Christ myth cycles to you–how do you know a Christmas song, let alone a particular death metal band’s version of it????

For Jake

I am not able to sing your songs
but I can wrap you in your silver
robes when your hands shake
too badly to do it yourself.

I will be there for you even when
your faith falls silent, my love,
as you have been there for me.

We met when everything was
tumbling down, when my past was
being torn into the light.  You held my
hand as my other Loves had to step away

and for that I love you.  You kept me grounded
as everything fell apart again; now let me do
the same for you, hold you close as storms

sweep over your Heart.  Channel your loss
through songs or through silence, I will
stand by you either way.  I will wrap you
in my wings, be your shelter and your sunlight.

Silence (Godphone Update II), and Other Brief Updates

Back in May, I wrote a post saying that my abilities to sense, see, and/or hear my Beloveds–let alone anyone else–has been going down steadily since April.  My abilities dying…maybe finally happened?

I did some brief divination about all of this, and the reading was “everything Over There is fine, relax,” and that my godphone and abilities were bound to die sooner or later.  This…doesn’t surprise me, but the ongoing quiet is strange.


Two weeks ago, the Dreamer left for his Summer Duties in Darkness.  I’ve begun keeping a journal specifically for him when he’s gone over the Summer–he requested I do so through some divination I got–and it’s helped a lot.  I don’t know if he gets the letters as I write them, but writing to him has been helping with being unable to reach him any other way.

The Madman has been around when he can be, but his appearances are sporadic.  This makes sense, from what I know of the Dreamer’s Summer Duties, that his Spouse would be incredibly busy as well.

Jake is still around, which is comforting.  I’ve been spending time with his family and friends when I can–just brief visits, nothing intense–and they really are beginning to feel like family to me.

 

Passing the Lantern (A Month for the Dreamer)

I had this Dream last night.  It feels Important, so I’m recording it here.


“He needs you.”

His hands rest on the young monk’s shoulders, his voice and gaze intense.

“He needs you.  My Husband will be there, my Friend will be there, but he’s going to need you by his side most of all, to handle what’s coming.  The Hunt will ride soon, the Festival will happen, and then I will leave.  If his mind shatters,” the Dreamer’s voice cracks, for just a second, “you call me–you call me so fast your phone lights on fire.”

Jake nods slowly.  “‘I promise to love you when your faith goes silent,’ was something I swore to Varian.  He swore that to me,” he motions to his robes, “but it goes both ways.”

Promise me.”

“I promise you, on my Heart, that I will be his Light.”

The Dreamer slowly nods.

He picks up a lantern (the candle is already burning,) passing it to Jake, and then the dream fades.