Negotiations Are Starting

I did some divination yesterday, and it made clear that it would be best if I bi-located during the handfasting ceremony, rather than it being only in the Otherworld.  My ability to remember astral travel is shaky at the best of times, so we’ve agreed that for something as important as our handfasting, it’s best that I bi-locate.

The divination also backed up previous readings stating that this handfasting is going to be a rather public ceremony, instead of a private elopement (which is what I did when I married the Dreamer and the Madman–we had been married in my past life, so it was more like a vow renewal ceremony than anything else.)

Now the negotiations are starting.

I had discussed mortal partners with the Dreamer and the Madman before.  We’d all agreed that if I ever met someone I wanted to have a relationship with, that they would be okay with me seeing someone else–and they are genuinely happy for J and I.  Neither of them wants me to be alone (especially with them both having Jobs that could lead to them being gone for long amounts of time) and my growing relationship with J is helping me stay grounded.

The first round of negotiations has been completed (out of four) and the next ones will happen between now and April.  We agreed to start now because we both know that the handfasting date will be here before we know it, so it’s best to work on negotiations at a pace where we don’t have to rush.

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Bullet Points Are Easier

Updates, in bullet point format.

  • The Dreamer and the Madman have been away for over a month now, and it’s been…an adjustment.
    • I’ve interacted with them briefly during that time, but our conversations have been short and they can’t be around much.
    • I miss them both, but I also understand why they’re gone [which is personal to them, so I won’t say any more.]
    • I’m beginning to really understand why they’ve pushed independence so much over the time I’ve known them.
  • I recently learned (thanks to one of my Allies) that in my practice sharing drinks with someone is a potentially very intimate thing.
    • I didn’t notice it until [this Deity] pointed out that I only offered drinks to my Beloveds.
    • I’m unsure if this is me-as-a-person thing, or if this is a Darkness related thing.
  • My practice Here is (mostly) at a standstill again.
    • I’ve found that I’m okay with that.
  • J and I now have a date for our handfasting (April 7) as well as an officiant.
    • The next thing to work on will be our vows.
    • We also need to figure out just *how* public this ceremony will be.
    • We’ll also work out if this will be only in the astral, or will I be bi-locating and with the two ceremonies (one Here, one Over There) taking place simultaneously.

Engagement Reading

So J and I have been talking about doing a handfasting type of ceremony sometime in the Spring.  The handfasting would make our relationship “official,” as well as help some diplomacy related things relevant to Over There.  It’s also traditional in Darkness for a couple to do a handfasting as a way of being engaged for a year (or more) before taking any more permanent vows.

The subject of our pending engagement (we’re not considered “officially” engaged until we do the ceremony) came up again this morning over tea, so we did a reading about it together.  (My godphone has been having fantastically shitty reception lately, so J decided that tarot was the way to go.)

(Under the cut because this reading is nearly 800 words.)

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Notes For Myself on My Practice

For a while now, I’ve been feeling like my practice (what practice I have right now) is missing something.  I realized last night that it’s not more formality I want in my practice, but more structure.

Now, how I build structure around a group of gods with no written mythology, I’m at a loss.  I have things I associate with them, and there are…spiritual paths that are specific to Darkness (religions Over There,) but I don’t feel comfortable using what little I know of those within my own practice.

I could ask J if he has any ideas, but he’s a monk [he’s been sending me that symbolism since he got back into my life] and that’s…a very different, more intense level of devotion than I deal with.  I mean, he, of anyone, will have ideas, so I probably will end up asking him about stuff.

And there’s the Thing that my gods Do Not Want To Be Worshiped because they’re my Family before anything else, so how to add more structure with that restriction is something I’ll need to do divination on.

I think adding more structure will also maybe help with the you-must-always-be-doing-Otherworld-stuff-or-you’re-A-Bad-Devotee brain crap I’ve been struggling with lately.  J said to me the other day that a practice doesn’t have to be devotional to a deity, it could be about grounding myself and my practice Here, which sounds like something I need right now.

We Are Not Star-Crossed

Once you were the King’s servant, and
once I was the King’s son, and we
have chosen again to tangle our paths
and our Hearts together.  Only this time

we are not battling so-called Fate, and your
devotion calls you to me as easily as your
sacred Mysteries hold your Heart as well.

We could call this affair star-crossed,
except that this path of Love does not
require us to choose between the silent
woods and songs uplifted in devotion.

New Decks

I got two new decks yesterday, the Angelarium Oracle and the Spirit Speak tarot deck.

J asked if he could have the tarot deck, since he liked the simple design, and he wanted one that was exclusively his.  I said sure, and it’s next to his prayer beads on my dresser now (since J is not a god or spirit, he doesn’t have a shrine; I don’t pray to him, the beads are more like a touchstone for us to stay connected.)

The Angelarium is going to be…interesting.

The moment I held the Angelarium deck in my hands, I felt my hands tingling very strongly and energy surrounding me.

I knew exactly Who wanted that one, and this really surprised me, because the Far Ones hadn’t put any sort of claim on the Silhouette tarot (the deck I use to communicate with the gods and people of Darkness.)  But They really wanted this oracle deck to be used to communicate with Them, to the point that They had me find a box to hold both decks together–I got the impression that the box was also to help cut off the nearly overwhelmig energy I got from the oracle deck.

Then I saw that the box They’d picked was star themed, which led to a lot of “are You kidding me” comments under my breath as I rearranged the shrine.

I haven’t done any successful readings with the Angelarium deck yet, but I plan on trying to do an interview spread with it soon (probably using the Silhouette tarot to help me with the interview, because I have no idea how to read the Angelarium cards.)

Even if the Angelarium ends up being difficult to read, the art is amazing, so I think I’ll still like it even if I can’t read with it.

I did try and do a reading with the Angelarium, and…instead of answering my question, the Far Ones pointed me to a pop culture character who is very similar to J.  That was…a strange experience, having the Big Powers start referencing a specific character from a fantasy series in order to confirm my discernment about my Otherworld boyfriend.

What is my life.

I Drew J and I

I drew a picture of J and I together.  It was initially going to just be a picture of J, but he decided he wanted me to be in it as well.  (I don’t know what we’re looking at in this picture, but we both look So Done with whatever it is.)

20171103_163708

J almost always wears gray when I see him Over There, and he wanted a drawing that reflected the Otherworld side of our lives together.

This is a drawing of Otherworld Me, by the way.  I almost always wear black Over There, and the red cloak (and pin that goes with it) was a gift from My Mentor.

This took forever to draw because I decided to mess around with shading, and coloring My hair in took a long time.

In the Realm I’m from, long hair and Kingship are connected.  Since beginning to grow My hair out for Kingship purposes, I’m starting to understand why the King of All Darkness keeps his (waist length) hair pulled back in a braid all the time…