I got a tarot reading back recently about my spiritual path. One card mentioned a King leaving, but us possibly being reunited, though not necessarily in a romantic relationship anymore. I had a knee-jerk reaction of panic, to which my Spouse showed up in my dreams to reassure me that he’s not going anywhere, even if our relationship may shift more to friendship, rather than romantic love.
I’d normally put this in my private dream logs, but he’s encouraging me to post it publicly.
“I’m scared this is the last time I’ll be here.” I admit. I know this garden so well, it’s the High King’s personal gardens, filled with flowers from around the Universe. I know every path here, have spent time with my Spouse and played with our children here.
“Why do you think that,” he asks me.
I tell him about the reading, about the King leaving. I knew the King card could be about any older man, but my mind had jumped to him right away, that and with the distance between us that’s been exacerbated by my mental illness.
“Varian, dearest one.” He hugs me gently. “I’ve been alive for how long?”
“A good…” I pause and do the math, “6,000 years, at least.”
He nods. “And I’ve loved you all that time,” he says quietly. “Since I met you, I’ve loved you.”
“Even when we’ve been apart?”
“Even then, dearest Heart.” I feel his lips touch my hair. “I’ve always loved you in some way, even as our relationship has changed over time.”
I nod, and he takes my hand. We walk through the gardens together, but I’m still musing over the distance and space between us.
“It could simply mean that I need to be away,” he says, “if that King card was about me, that is.” He pauses. “I leave every Summer, remember?”
“I–oh!” Suddenly I’m laughing. “Oops, I forgot and panicked.”
He smiles. “I can understand why, things have been…fragile for you lately, haven’t they?”
“Yeah,” I move closer and put my arm around his waist, “they have been.”
We walk through the garden together, quietly talking and listening to our children as they play nearby.