Light Under the Eclipse

This is a recording of an astral event.


Together, we gather on the shore by the sea, unlit candles in our hands.  I light the first candle, turning to My Consort, telling him that we share our light.  He passes the flame to the next person, and the words “we share our light” flow through the crowd.

We watch as the moon turns red, the color of blood, of chaos left behind in the Two Lands.  Someone asks if we should pray against the gods they left behind in the Desert, and I say no, we’re safe here.  Their Eyes will never find us, for these People I now call Mine had been broken and discarded without any thoughts to healing.

My youngest sister comes up to Me, and I carefully scoop her up in My arms.  She passes the glowstick she carries to Jake, who smiles at her.  I think of how she has the greatest thing that Darkness can offer: a choice in her future.

We watch the moon as it shifts from blood, to the Light we all know so well.  There is quiet conversation as we return to our homes by the sea, and our Lights burn brightly under the eclipse.

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Building A Structure in the Silence

I don’t know if I’d call what I’m in right now a fallow time, or if things are simply quiet in the spiritual and astral department.  I did make brownies as an offering for Winter’s Sovereign yesterday, both because it sounded good, and because there’s a winter storm in my area right now.  I got the impression that he liked the brownies I offered him, and it was nice to spend time with him after not seeing him for a while.

Despite not having a very “active” practice right now, I do stop by my shrine twice a day, once in the morning and once at night.  The reason why I do this is because my pill box with my medication has found a home on my shrine.  I’ve found myself saying hi to my gods and spirits when I stop by to grab my pills; sometimes I get a reply back, but lately it’s been quiet, with maybe an “I got your message” ping back from them.

I’ve been praying to my deity Beloveds at their shrine at the end of the day, just keeping them in the loop about my life.  Sometimes we talk across the distance between Realms, other times I get the sense that my words are going to their answering machine (for lack of a better word.)  Either way, talking to them is a nice way to end the day.  I’ve been wanting to write a formal prayer to say to them when they’re away on long stretches of business (like now) but haven’t come up with anything yet.

That’s where I’m at right now; things may be quiet, but I’m discovering a structure that words for me, even in the silence.

Nothing Major is Happening Right Now

Right now I’m at a point in my spiritual life where nothing major is going on, and for some reason I feel like writing about it.  It’s not a fallow time; my deity Beloveds are busy right now with work, and they both drop by to spend time with me when they can.  The spirits are quiet, and so are my People.

I pulled out my mental health deck, and did a quick tarot reading.  The reading indicated that this year is going to be a quiet one when it comes to astral drama and Otherworld shenanigans.  It said that I’ll still be celebrating holidays, and spending time with my Loved Ones, but it also cautioned me about excess worrying (especially worrying that a long period of quiet=shit’s about to hit the fan.)

Sensing the Otherworlds (Devotional December)

One disadvantage of deleting my Tumblr blogs, is that I no longer have my dashomancy system.  Since then, my Beloveds, and Others, have been using music to get my attention–thanks to Jake, last night I have two verses of “Michael, Row The Boat Ashore” playing in my head in a loop (Jake uses either hymns, symphonic black metal, or pop music to let me know he’s around.)

I do have the ability to “see” gods and spirits, but it’s more like a very strong mental image of them, along with a feeling of a presence near me.  If Jake is around, I’ll often feel his wings wrapped around my shoulders if he’s sitting next to me.  Sometimes my sense of “sight” is stronger than other times, so I often rely of the energetic presence that I can feel near me, rather than my sense of “sight.”

I used to travel to the Otherworlds in my dreams fairly often, but since I’ve gotten on Seroquel my dreams have gone absolutely crazy with random stuff that makes no sense, so no more Otherworld dream travel for me.  When I have spent time Over There (while awake Here) it’s been through writing, which also helps because I can look over my notes, and easily reference earlier conversations if I need to.

Separation (Devotional December)

All around me I see death; all paths seem to end there, all dreams seem to be shattered, to be labeled A Sacrifice, For Your Own Good.

I wonder if I am the only one whose gods abhor meaningless sacrifice, if the violent language that “devotion” is spoken about in is nothing but an echo chamber gone horribly wrong.

I wonder about the vortex of the Otherworlds that I have lost friends to, how easy it once was for me to slip away to the Otherworlds, and how now I am precariously clinging to my sanity, and trying to rebuild a life Here.  My Beloveds and Queen have cut the threads that bound my Other Self and I together, for both of us, and we have found that we are happier apart.

On Endings and Beginnings (Devotional December)

Author’s Note: I’m going to spoil the ending of the main questline of No Man’s Sky in this post, don’t read any further if you want to be surprised.

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This plant’s diet was simply listed as “the unfortunate,” I took some pictures and left quickly.

I recently finished the main quesline of No Man’s Sky, after just over 50 hours into the game.  I wrestled with the choice to make; to let the Atlas die, and create a new universe, or to deny the Atlas, and stay in the galaxy I was in.  I chose to let the Atlas die, and to create a new world.

Earlier in the game, I had told the Atlas that I was a real person, not a simulation, and that it could take the “destiny” idea and fuck off.  If the Atlas was going to die in 16 minutes, I reasoned, that was 16 minutes in a geological time frame, so I had all the time in the universe (pun intended) to explore the current galaxy I was in.

As I thought about the choice I had to make, and watched as the 16 minutes slowly slid away (one minute passed with each warp to a new solar system) I found myself thinking about Darkness.

I thought about how Free Will is one of the highest values, and I could, if I wished, refuse the Atlas.

I reflected on the Otherworld part of my Sacred Kingship path, how in the beginning I’d technically had no choice (link).  I’d been thrown into a situation that neither I nor my People were happy about, and I could have walked away; but doing so would have left them without a King, and that would have been a betrayal of m/My own values.

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One of the worlds in my new galaxy; yellow grass, hills and mountains, and purple trees.

The theme of cycles, of endings and beginnings, and living on after your personal world has ended, these are themes in my path with Darkness.  I find comfort in them, in a way that’s difficult to put into words.  I find comfort in my Free Will, that I’ve brought m/Myself this far on m/My path on m/My own.

Questioning

“How does this impact my life Here?”

That’s become the main question I ask myself when it comes to the astral/Otherworld side of my practice.  I’ve found that knowing how much something affects me Here helps me with knowing what to do next, in regards to whatever’s going on.  This is especially true in regards to my Kingship practice, which does play a part in my life Here, but in a different way than it does Over There.