Unrecorded Deity Bingo

[ID: a bingo board with the heading “Unrecorded Deity Devotee Bingo.  The text is black on a white background, with a red border.

Research only brings up recorded gods

What does that symbol mean?

I know this means something, but what?

A list of deities that are close, but not *quite* right

Free space

“My name is [static noise]”

Other people: “No, that’s definitely [recorded god]”

Otherworld history lessons at one simple question

Traits that align with [very popular recorded god]

/end ID]

Changing Aspects Are Melting My Brain

I’m just writing to put words down on paper, and to maybe get some ideas from other people.  I’ve had brain melting stuff happen before–for fuck’s sake, I went from knowing my deities as recorded gods to unrecorded gods, so why is a shift in focus like this breaking my gods damned brain so much???

The change that’s going on in my practice right now is that the Queen–who I most often refer to as “Mother Death”–wants to drop the “death” part of that, and for me to focus on her as Mother, and as a goddess of Family and Home.

I have no idea why, but my Queen shifting aspects on me–even though I know at least part of the reason why–is brain breaking for me?

Tbh I’m just as baffled as to why I’m having brain melting feelings, as to the shift in aspect.  Maybe I should get an outside reading on this?

Research Help?

Today I did my full moon tarot reading, and got called out on focusing on the Queen as Death, and reminded that she’s also a goddess of family and home.  I should maybe be focusing on those aspects more than on Herself-as-Death.

On that subject, of focusing on my Queen’s other aspects–especially her as a Mother goddess, as a goddess of Family and Home–does anyone know of any sources on deities like that, that aren’t full of T/E/RF// bullshit?

I know she’s an unrecorded deity, but I have a feeling I should be looking for outside sources as well.

Exploring the Darkness

This is for the Unrecorded Pantheon Roundtable on Tumblr [link].

How did you build your path; how do you serve deities with no established tradition of worship?

I first began to build my path with a lot of flailing and second-guessing everything, to be completely honest. There were things I knew were true, mainly that my main god was from this Realm called Darkness, that I’d still eat any food offerings I made…and that was about all I had, in the beginning.  My first actual contact with Darkness was when I channeled this poem [link], and suddenly the monster imagery that had been following me around for several years made a bit more sense.

Over time, more patterns and things I could take as Signs began to show up (and some spirits give me literal pictures of signs as their Signs, much to my amusement.)

While the Queen of Darkness has no established tradition of worship Here, she does have an established faith Over There. The way I incorporate this into my daily life Here is through morning and evening prayers, and I usually wear a piece of jewelry that’s dedicated to her.  She’s the only deity I worship (the other members of the Royal Family are very explicit about not waning my worship) and a lot of the way I serve her is by caring for my f/Family members, as well as doing creative things (right now that’s mainly writing and knitting.)

A Dream, and A Reminder

I got a tarot reading back recently about my spiritual path. One card mentioned a King leaving, but us possibly being reunited, though not necessarily in a romantic relationship anymore. I had a knee-jerk reaction of panic, to which my Spouse showed up in my dreams to reassure me that he’s not going anywhere, even if our relationship may shift more to friendship, rather than romantic love.

I’d normally put this in my private dream logs, but he’s encouraging me to post it publicly.

*********

“I’m scared this is the last time I’ll be here.” I admit. I know this garden so well, it’s the High King’s personal gardens, filled with flowers from around the Universe. I know every path here, have spent time with my Spouse and played with our children here.

“Why do you think that,” he asks me.

I tell him about the reading, about the King leaving. I knew the King card could be about any older man, but my mind had jumped to him right away, that and with the distance between us that’s been exacerbated by my mental illness.

“Varian, dearest one.” He hugs me gently. “I’ve been alive for how long?”

“A good…” I pause and do the math, “6,000 years, at least.”

He nods. “And I’ve loved you all that time,” he says quietly. “Since I met you, I’ve loved you.”

“Even when we’ve been apart?”

“Even then, dearest Heart.” I feel his lips touch my hair. “I’ve always loved you in some way, even as our relationship has changed over time.”

I nod, and he takes my hand. We walk through the gardens together, but I’m still musing over the distance and space between us.

“It could simply mean that I need to be away,” he says, “if that King card was about me, that is.” He pauses. “I leave every Summer, remember?”

“I–oh!” Suddenly I’m laughing. “Oops, I forgot and panicked.”

He smiles. “I can understand why, things have been…fragile for you lately, haven’t they?”

“Yeah,” I move closer and put my arm around his waist, “they have been.”

We walk through the garden together, quietly talking and listening to our children as they play nearby.

That’s…A Lot of Coffee

So as I wrote about in my last post, I promised the Queen some fancy coffee, in exchange for her helping me through this final week at my job at call center hell.

Except…I think I overestimated how much coffee is in a pound of coffee.

It’s chocolate flavored, which surprised me that she selected that one. It is just sweet enough that I can tolerate drinking it black (which is how she likes her coffee, and I eat my offerings of food) though I think it tastes better with at least some milk and sugar in it.

I explained to her that I overestimated how much coffee there would be, and could it be expanded to be offerings for the Royal Family, instead of just her? She said that was fine, so it’s now my morning coffee offering for my deity Beloveds, as well as being for her.

I sent that picture to a friend of mine, who laughed and said “it looks like you’ll be working with her for a while.”

My Life Right Now

I also posted this over at my blog for the Queen [link.]

Me, before I became a polytheist: I’ve always been drawn to death related stuff, but have never explored it. I kind of want to, but it’s scary.

Me now, praying to Death: *slides a cup of black coffee her way* Okay Mom, idk why you like this stuff with no flavor, but help me get through this next week of my job, and I’ll buy you some special bitter bean juice of your choice.

*********

And upon promising her some special coffee of her choice for helping me get through my final week of my call center job from hell, her twin’s response was a blend of horror and laughter. He knows just how bitter she likes her coffee.

Writing Plans

Over the month of September, the Queen wants me to study the runes. A poem or prose piece a day, until I’ve worked through all 25 (with some room to move the schedule around, if I’m traveling or don’t have time.) Yes, she does want me to add the blank rune in, even though I know that’s a modern invention, and not historical–oh. Right. Modern culture stuff is like, my entire path. *faceplam*

During October, we’ve talked about doing the Month of Written Devotion challenge (I typically write for the Madman during October, but he’s the one who suggested this idea to me in the first place.) I’ll be taking the trial run version of my Oath to her at the end of the month, so that’ll be a nice way to prepare.

I think I’ll do these writings for the Queen over on her blog [link] so follow that one if you want to see these writing projects.