I’ve been quiet on almost all social media lately, both because we don’t have the greatest wi-fi where we live, and because I’ve been spending a fair amount of my spare time (both Here and There) focusing on the twins.
I’m not exactly in a fallow time right now, but close to one. Things are simply quiet, though lately I’ve been having dreams (what I can remember) about the process of my Beloved [the Dreamer] leaving behind the name I first knew him under. It’s odd that that’s coming up again, but that shift did begin four years ago around this time of year, so in a sense it’s an anniversary.
I have another anniversary coming up, soon it’ll be 3 years since when I began to explore Darkness (both the Pantheon and Realm.) I don’t have an exact date pinned down for when that happened, but there’s a holiday coming up with my People to celebrate the anniversary of their arrival in Darkness, so it’s going to be something we all celebrate together.
Last night I sat down with the Queen, and she had me draw a few tarot cards about where she wants me to go next. (For someone who’s in a fallow time, it’s busy around here with the Queen.) She wants me to explore the path/faith (not sure what the right word is) in Darkness that’s dedicated to her, along with simply learning more about her.
I questioned this, because Summer is the annual fallow time in Darkness. She reminded me that last Summer I worked with [a friend of the Dreamer’s], and it’s the Wild Hunt right now, which means that Summer is her time of year.
I’m currently waiting on some outside divination to confirm what I know of this path, to be certain that I have the details right. This is part of becoming her Devotee–and Jake thinks it’ll be good for me, to have a specific path I follow. That said, this is something that will take time.
My friend Allie and I started a forum on Dreamwidth for devotees of death deities.
It is here: https://devotees-of-death-deities.dreamwidth.org/
Today is the full moon in May, which means the start of Summer in Darkness, and for me, means a fallow time.
I’ll be able to sense Jake, Trev, and their families, but my gods will be stepping back.
Bought some runes for my Queen, since she’s been indicating that she wants a set for herself, made of wood (my current set is made of sea stone.)
I found a lovely set of runes that are black and gold, so that’s high contrast enough that I can see it. Plus Light-in-Darkness as a play on words.
The Queen appearing in my life, and my being gently pushed towards her by her twin, is the first time in a long time that I’ve had a deity slowly take on a role in my life. The Dreamer and the Madman both made their intentions and feelings towards me clear very quickly, and the recorded gods I once worked with were equally quick (at the time) to claim me as a member of their family. A recorded god [a friend of the Dreamer’s] I briefly worked with was equally clear that he wanted to be friends, and we parted ways in friendship when the contract was over.
On the way home from the writer’s group tonight, I found myself pondering that the Queen’s presence in my life as been a very quiet one for the six years I’ve known her. She’s been in and out of my life during that time, but this is the first that she’s asked anything devotional of me–and I’m the one who initially approached her (after some gentle nudging from both my People and her twin) about becoming her devotee, rather than her calling me.
This feels different to me, my becoming her devotee slowly. It’s also something I’m happy about, because the slow pace is what I’m most comfortable with at this time. Being unrecorded, she’s not a goddess I can research, but I have to learn about her by interacting with her (as well as interaction with her spirits.) This slow pace is new to me, but it’s a journey that I’m happy to go on.
I woke up with a fever this morning, which means that my plans of baking something for the Festival of Hearts (which is today) has gone right out the window. I was already dealing with low spoons, getting sick took those spoons into the negative numbers. I did make some hot chocolate to share with Jake and Trev, but my plans of visiting my sisters Over There is something that’s not happening today.
I did approach the shrine this morning, since my morning prayer routine takes just a few minutes. When I picked up the lantern, I was promptly Told to put the lantern down, turn off the candle, and go eat breakfast. I learned that I’m Not Allowed to do anything with my shrine (or any spiritual stuff at all) when I’m sick–which makes perfect sense, I’m just grumpy that I had to get sick on a major holiday.