Fallow Time Begins

Today is the full moon in May, which means the start of Summer in Darkness, and for me, means a fallow time.

I’ll be able to sense Jake, Trev, and their families, but my gods will be stepping back.

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Developments

Bought some runes for my Queen, since she’s been indicating that she wants a set for herself, made of wood (my current set is made of sea stone.)

I found a lovely set of runes that are black and gold, so that’s high contrast enough that I can see it.  Plus Light-in-Darkness as a play on words.

Devotee Thoughts (I)

The Queen appearing in my life, and my being gently pushed towards her by her twin, is the first time in a long time that I’ve had a deity slowly take on a role in my life.  The Dreamer and the Madman both made their intentions and feelings towards me clear very quickly, and the recorded gods I once worked with were equally quick (at the time) to claim me as a member of their family.  A recorded god [a friend of the Dreamer’s] I briefly worked with was equally clear that he wanted to be friends, and we parted ways in friendship when the contract was over.

On the way home from the writer’s group tonight, I found myself pondering that the Queen’s presence in my life as been a very quiet one for the six years I’ve known her.  She’s been in and out of my life during that time, but this is the first that she’s asked anything devotional of me–and I’m the one who initially approached her (after some gentle nudging from both my People and her twin) about becoming her devotee, rather than her calling me.

This feels different to me, my becoming her devotee slowly.  It’s also something I’m happy about, because the slow pace is what I’m most comfortable with at this time.  Being unrecorded, she’s not a goddess I can research, but I have to learn about her by interacting with her (as well as interaction with her spirits.)  This slow pace is new to me, but it’s a journey that I’m happy to go on.

Something I Learned Today

I woke up with a fever this morning, which means that my plans of baking something for the Festival of Hearts (which is today) has gone right out the window.  I was already dealing with low spoons, getting sick took those spoons into the negative numbers.  I did make some hot chocolate to share with Jake and Trev, but my plans of visiting my sisters Over There is something that’s not happening today.

I did approach the shrine this morning, since my morning prayer routine takes just a few minutes.  When I picked up the lantern, I was promptly Told to put the lantern down, turn off the candle, and go eat breakfast.  I learned that I’m Not Allowed to do anything with my shrine (or any spiritual stuff at all) when I’m sick–which makes perfect sense, I’m just grumpy that I had to get sick on a major holiday.

Practice Structure, A Draft

With the recent move being a sort of new start, I asked if I should set up a more structured practice than what I had before.  The cards I drew were a clear “yes,” and recent developments of the Queen stepping into my life Here helped to clarify that more structure is what I need right now.

This is what I have so far; it’s simple, but it’s also something that I can easily work into my days.  My pill box with my psyche medication sits directly front and center in my shrine, so taking my medication is deliberately a part of the routine.

MORNING

Light the lantern, prayer to Darkness, after breakfast make offering of either coffee or tea to my Beloveds (coffee for the deities, tea for Jake,) prayer to the Madman and take morning psyche medication, morning prayer to the Queen, turn off lantern

EVENING

Light the lantern, prayer to Darkness, prayer to the Madman and take evening psyche medication, any other discussion/prayer to other deities I may have, evening prayer to the Queen, turn off lantern

*squinting at his path intensifies*

The Queen–the Dreamer’s twin sister–has been in my life for a few years now, though I wouldn’t say we’re nearly as close as I am to her twin.  I’ve dealt with her spirits, the Mothers of Sorrow, and the Beasts of Outer Darkness, off an on for a few years as well.

Yesterday, I was writing out some ideas on a more structured practice, and the idea of a prayer to the Queen came up.  I did a reading with my People (the prayer was from them to her,) and they were more than happy to suggest I become her devotee.

I did a reading with the Dreamer, who gave me a few cards that said that my Officially becoming his twin sister’s devotee would be good for me, and possibly transformative.  The reading I just finished with the Queen backed up what her twin said, and that my being her devotee is much more about improving my life Here, rather than anything astral related.

It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten a nudge to become devoted to a deity, especially one I’ve known for years now.  She’s not asking for any oaths, just that I continue to care for myself and heal.

(Note To Myself)

I learned something today, and it means that part of my Otherworld woo has been confirmed as an Actual Royal Thing that happened, at least at one point in history.

It was weird enough when this happened when I worked with recorded deities.  Since working with unrecorded deities (and an unrecorded Realm) it throws me for a loop even more to have parts of my practice confirmed by actual history Here on earth.