Within these darkened woods you wait, oh Mother of Darkness. Queen of the Hunt, your arrows find all targets, and your knives take down all foes. Mother Death, be kind to me, and lead me on your shadowed path.
–for the Lady of the Gallows
I did a reading this morning with the Queen, since she wanted to give me more information on my eventual Oath to her. She told me that the Oath is more about making her the center of my spiritual practice, since she’ll be the only deity I worship. (She’s not asking to be the only deity I worship, that’s just how things are working out.)
We’ve agreed to do a trial run of the Oath for a year before I Officially take it. So this Halloween I’ll give her a “trial run” version of the Oath, to see how it works for me, to show her that I can keep my word on this, and to be certain that I can keep up with my daily devotions to her.
I’ve been doing daily prayers for the Queen, one in the morning and one in the evening, since late May. Aside from a few days when I’ve been sick–I have a taboo [link] about doing anything spiritual when I’m ill–I’ve kept up with the prayers.
I do want to eventually buy a ring to signify the Oath. I’m not sure what kind of ring that will be, I want something I can wear every day, I do know that.
Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m back at the very beginning of my path. I know I’m not, really, because I’ve known the Queen for almost six years now–but that feeling of being at the start of a new journey lingers. Except this time, I know about the gods, about their morals and values (rather than starting from the group up on research,) and this time it’s an unrecorded path and pantheon.
Part of the Queen’s faith is focused on creativity, so I’m getting back into writing. I’ve been meaning to do that for a while now, and I’ve taken the story to the writer’s group when I’m stuck on it. Which brings me to the other major thing that’s part of her faith–community, and more importantly, asking for help when I need it.
I’ve talked plenty of times before about how I struggle with isolation, as well as with asking for help. I feel–at least right now–like I’m starting to do better on that. I’m currently writing this at the library, both to get out of the house, as well as getting better wi-fi to work on my job hunt.
So far, walking the Queen’s path has been more about improving my life Here, which is just what I need right now. My active devotional practice is simply the morning and evening prayers to her, along with the occasional coffee offering when she wants to do a larger divination session. Even though I feel like I’m back at the beginning of my path, it feels like where I need to be.