I got multiple signs yesterday pointing to the Beasts of Outer Darkness (a catch-all name for the Monsters beyond my Family) wanting to work with me on shadow work; the tarot reading I recently wrote about mentioned “moving on,” and they have a specific thing in mind that I need to work on moving on from.
I then had a night of very strange, and very terrifying, dreams. They’re not going to pull any punches when it comes to this shadow work.
All this began so long ago,
the Desert hiding amulets
and such well-hidden scorn
that no one knew what I faced
until I was ripped away, forced back
to the very people who claimed to love
and despise me in equal measure; this was
building up over thousands of
years of carefully balancing
hatred and greed with so-called
Justice and an idea that an Empire
would never fall and be lost to time.
Time and progress marches on
the glittering lights of Darkness say
that there is beauty in releasing
the Past, to let it flow through the Veils
of Eternity, to let the Past float down to
the East, to be cataloged and laid to rest.
To truly, finally give up the Desert is to break
my Heart all over again; to allow the grief to flow
to feel the pain at losing so much in one snap
of the fingers of an angry god. The Past will rise
up and confront me, but it is better not to be buried
between lies and falsehoods of Love. There is no
forgiveness, and I understand that; to heal from this
means giving up all tentative hope of reuniting, to sheild
myself from that reality only adds to the cracks in my Heart.
To cling to the Past is swallowing down the pain,
and all my old wounds, sharp words like knives that
have nowhere to go except for making me bleed.
Son of the King and the Underworld Lord, son
of both Life and Death, reach for your dreams
until the stars rain down. Winter in Darkness is
light unending, it is the time for your soul to shine.
Follow the stars down to the sea
and offer pearls in gratitude,
in remembrance of the past which
tells bitter truths, but could bring
hope to the dying embers of memory.
All of Darkness
is built upon Hope.
Hope that the lost may be found
that the grieving may find Home
that the Prince who stole the moon
would go beyond his Father’s Crown
and step into the seas of Eternity.
Our Family should have never been torn apart,
and your Heart should have never been broken
by losing your Father to conspiracy and greed.
Even with claims of “destiny” and the “greater good,”
(which you saw right through, it was far too late to regret)
I wish I’d never heard you scream in rage at learning of
your Father’s deepest secrets being torn into the light.
There is no forgiveness for those
who handed me a cup of poison, and
made your eyes turn black with grief.
There are concepts,
flowing in an instant.
From–cookies, to wells,
to teeth, to you–to your terror,
and your falling, and your being
bound to follow the King
down whatever dark Roads
he may walk in search of
Salvation, Justice, and Honor,
but mostly in search of Love.
In a blink the knowledge has faded,
everything, and nothing has changed.
The Road of Fate you walk yet again, you King
with broken Crown and shattered conscious.
Adversary, Beloved, Reflection, the King
of All Darkness calls you all of these, scribe
and villain, Architect of the Singing Halls.
You who must change with the King, you never
forget, and an apple falls silent to the ground.