The Time of Masks

I can sense it creeping closer
the time of Masks, the Hunt,
that desperate Ride to Autumn.

White lanterns are hung around the square,
the markets, the docks, the temples, that
iridescent flame that whispers there is hope.

I will light the sandstone streets;
oh Beasts of Outer Darkness
turn your eyes away from us.

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Legacy

We are a family of scapegoats and would-be sacrifices,
a legacy that comes with a cost of damnation, and our rage
is great, and we mourn the family that could have been.

Fire has burned away the “greater good,” but still My son dreams
of his Father drowning, still the rage for those who have been broken
rises in Me, still the sorrow of betrayal and of ribbons burning lingers.

A new dawn has risen, yet again mourning hits Me–and you once said
I would die, in your cryptic fucking song–the only death to happen was
My grief–I have dyed My hair black, to erase you and your violence.

I walk through sandstone streets, King of those you would have broken;
I hear the laughter of children, talk with My Ally and Friend over coffee,
there is peace, Spring is here; your legacy of pain is being undone by Love.

A Lighter Kingship Poem

They say the gods change you
no one ever told me that
it would also change
how I read fantasy novels;

that the weight of a Crown
would leave me yelling
at authors who think that Kings
have the most glamorous Job
full of riches and adoration.

(The look I’m getting as I type this,
from the King of All Darkness who’s
currently buried in paperwork.)

(Processing Kingship Things)

This poem is to process all the Things that are going on Over There right now, especially in regards to my Kingship path.


My friend of silver feathers–what
do we do now, with all this–rushing
down upon our heads?  Free Will is a
Pillar of Darkness, and yet…I’m terrified
this is nothing more than Fate haunting Me.

I don’t even know what to say
to this, other than what the fuck.

It’s all lining up a little bit too
perfectly; you found your family and
I stumbled into the very Crown that
My “father” would have given Me
had he drowned Me in the River.

I’m laughing at the irony of this, but…
I’m worried it’s to hold back a scream.

My Heritage Has Caught Up With Me (The Reason I Have Dyed My Hair Black)

My heritage has caught up with me
that corrupted crown of greed and gold
passed unwittingly from father to son;

but my hair screams chaos, violence,
slaughter and upheaval, an ending hidden
and gilded in the excuse of the “greater good.”

This is not a duality you want; I am a living contradiction,
a walking reminder of your pain and everything you
fled from, a blend of the worst traits of two brothers.

I am sorry.  I promise you
(on my Heart, I swear to you)
that you are Home, you are free

and that I will be a better King
than the one you fled across the
stars (such a long Journey) to escape.

Hope and Absence

I walk the bridge through waiting cliffs and endless white skies, while the sea crashes below Me.  The air smells of salt and the monastery’s songs echo greeting the dawn.

My Consort walks at My side, his presence a quiet reassurance that I am meant to be here, wearing the white that is only worn by the High King.  The true High King stepped back and I, among several Others, stepped forward to lead Darkness.

The High King may be our guiding Northern star, but he will never allow himself, or his Kingdom, to stagnate or become stuck in the past.  His stepping back to heal and lead by example, is yet another way he gives us Hope.

Finding Balance, and Learning to be Human

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve made a serious post about Stuff Over There, so I’m just going to start rambling.


A few weeks ago, I made the conscious decision to put everything astral related in the hands of [my Otherworld Self].  Since then I’ve been learning to have enough confidence in my Other Self that He can do His Duties in the Otherworlds, and He can update me (Here) if He has any updates to pass on.  That was one of the best things I’ve done in a while, regarding the Otherworld part of my path and my mental health.

One thing I’ve been learning recently is that I don’t have to be constantly “tuned in” to stuff Over There in order to do My Stuff Over There.  I’ve been coming up with some ideas on how to work with these spirits without astral travel, but right now I’m just making notes of ideas, since right now isn’t a good time to plunge back into spiritual stuff.  (Due to mental health stuff, and I have so much schoolwork that’s taking all my mental energy.)

Taking care of myself Here and my mental health is also part of this sacred Kingship path.  Finding balance between Here and There–which at the moment means my life Here and my life There are almost completely separate.


There’s also finding balance between my three Beloveds.  Two of them are deities, and one is not, so there’s different dynamics going on.  Plus there’s balancing several different romantic relationships at the same time.

Even though I deal with the Dreamer and the Madman as my Husbands, I don’t forget that they’re [High Power Deity Guys], because their Jobs influence how they see the world (especially the Dreamer.)

I joke that my life is a fantasy or romance novel, but if it was my Heart would be torn between the three of them, between the highs of divinity and the solid ground of my mortal Beloved–but they’re not asking me to choose.  Instead they’re helping me find balance, to learn to navigate my mortality, to slide between being a King in Other worlds, and a college student who procrastinated on his homework yet again.

I need that solid foundation of a life and Love Here, and they agree with me.  Now is not the time to step fully into Darkness, now is the time to heal, to learn and become who I am in this world, to build a solid foundation of a mind that isn’t screaming at me every time I possibly make a mistake.


I’ve been writing stories as a way to process all the Otherworld trauma I’ve been dealing with.  The stories aren’t exactly what happened, but exploring the Chosen One trope is a way for me to come to terms with what happened, and with being [Otherworld Me] and what that means.

The stories aren’t elegant; they’re fractured and don’t have a precise plot to them (other than the main character being angry about getting sucked into the Otherworlds) but they’re helping me deal with everything that’s been going on.