Fated (A Month for the Madman)

You stand against giving everything–maybe it’s because you’ve seen those who have been broken by their gods unto the point of death, maybe it’s that the Villain needs something to stand against.

So why not be the man rumored to have a Heart of stone, who in fact Loves so deeply and fiercely that he would walk the road of Fate, so that his Beloved could be free.


Musings on Hearts

How close does this make you, that you’ve bound your Hearts together?

A thought keeps going through my mind: that you are not the same person, not a syncretic god, not two facets of the same being, and yet…you’re so close, so deeply entwined with one another, that you may as well be.

I’ve written before that I’m the balance between the two of you, and I suppose that is true.  What if I don’t just provide balance, I provide space?  Someone you can love, that you can focus on, that doesn’t have a part in whatever magic you have done together.

I wrote many stories, all of them with the theme of Hearts being exchanged.  Each one, however, carried a warning, a clear message of “no.”  Each word I wrote said “this is not for you.”  Each story that could have involved the ritual ended before it happened, each ending said “you are mortal.”

Mortals cannot carry the true Hearts of gods, not without burning up–you don’t want me to burn, that’s a theme with you.  You both love me, desperately and dearly, but to be “on fire” is not something you want from me.

Is this part of the reason why you’ve stepped back?

How deep does you being each other’s Reflections go?

What does this mean for me–for us–now?


I dream of them exchanging Hearts.

When I wake, I feel as though I understand their bond, why it’s a million levels and layers deep.  To exchange breath is one thing, a blood oath is another, but to exchange Hearts…that is something else entirely.

They are bound together to the point that not even death can keep them apart.

Godphone Notes: Reflections

“I know you can be worse than that.”

“Yes,” the Dreamer replies, “and I know you can be better.”

The Madman slowly begins to smile.  

This is how it works, them being each other’s Reflections.

The Madman may be a villain, a mirror for the Dreamer, holding up his worst traits and saying  “This how terrible you could possibly be.” 

But the Dreamer holds up his own mirror, one that says “This is who I know you to be, darling, this is who you can become.”

Reflections (for my own notes)

The Dreamer and the Madman are reflections of one another.  This has been a constant theme, this complex relationship of friends, enemies, and lovers.  They mirror one another, in both their Godly Power Sides, and in their “personal” sides.

I had a lot of Dreams last night involving the Madman, and the dreams involved his terrifying pop culture Face; thanks to those Dreams, I came up with yet another way him and the Dreamer reflect one another.

In Welcome to Night Vale, the Distant Prince (the Dreamer’s scary pop culture Face) is far away, in the Distance, and is never sought out.  In Fallen London, Mr. Candles/Mr. Eaten (the Madman’s scary pop culture Face) is very close; in the game the player invokes Mr. Eaten in rituals and seeks him out by themselves.

Distance, closeness…yet another dichotomy between the two of them.

First Anniversary, and Artwork

Today is my first anniversary with the Dreamer and the Madman.


They didn’t ask for this picture as a present–considering everything we’ve been through together this year (it’s been…one hell of a year, it’s been rough in multiple ways,) they said the three of us simply spending time together was more than enough of a gift.

I wanted to draw them together, because I don’t have any artwork *of* them, and our anniversary felt like a good time to change that.

(Mechanical pencil [outline,] colored pencil)

I want to write something deep and profound about what being married to them for a year has meant for the three of us, but I…don’t have any words to describe what that experience has been like.

It’s been absolutely incredible to have these two at my side.

Happy anniversary, Beloveds.

I love you.  ❤