Wings of Ash and Stone

This is a sort of sequel to this poem.


My wings are made of ash and stone
forged in fires long forgotten, held together
by magic found only in the Iron Hearted Realm.

I am draped in red, dressed in black, and My sword
is made of silver.  I stand tall, My wings behind Me, as
fire burns before Me.  There is silence from My Mentor,
from My Monsters, as magic flows through My veins.

I am the King of Sorrow, King of Nowhere.  In this moment,
I am fire and ash in human form, alighting all of Outer Darkness.
I have not fallen, but rather, I have given Freedom and Grace
to My People.  With My head high, magic flows through My wings
which do not burn, but harden, becoming stone once again.

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Otherworld Shenanigans (A Rant Through Poetry)

[This is about both the Otherworld Drama that happened this Summer, and the ongoing fallout Over There.  Writing angry poetry is my way of coping with all this bullshit right now.]

You called Me a false King, a King of Nowhere.
Surrounded by gold and jewels, you said you would not
help Me; that I had betrayed everyone.  The final time I saw
My brothers they said nothing, only looked at Me with disgust
and pity.  When the doors of the Duat closed behind Me,
I knew I would never return to that isolated Kingdom.

And now it seems that ruining My name is more important
than peace between Kingdoms; the King of All Darkness has
walked away from your whispered words, and his Family
has follow suit.  We have Kingdoms to run and People
to care for, our actions and Love will speak for us.

My Kingdom is made of monsters and ghosts
and My Heart is now a ruined Garden, the woods
of Outer Darkness is My shelter and where I Reign
bearing a Crown of flowers without thorns.

Your smearing words are a ripple to begin a storm
and if this does not end soon, the wrath of
Those Who Dwell Beyond the Stars

will rain down upon you like
fire made of molten silver.

Watch the King

Watch the King as he walks
among the ash and rubble of
a burning world, only to make
a Home of a Kingdom long forgotten.

That was many years ago, so much has been
built since then.  Darkness is his Kingdom and
his pride, and hateful worlds hurled by those
who were once allies will not keep him from his Work.

Watch the King as he walks away,
the gates of Darkness close behind him.
Far Ones only know what spells he’s cast
to protect his People on this moonless night.

He will not lower himself to gossip, scorn,
and scandal; he has spread the truth, it is
time now to simply walk away, and to know
that behind him all cruel words will explode.

A Dream of Leaving

Quietly, he tells me that he is leaving.

Our marriage isn’t over, he reassures me.  It’s that the Consequences of this Summer’s Drama have spiraled far beyond his control, and he must tend to his Kingdom and People before all else.

I tell him that I understand.  I will miss him, have been missing him already with him being gone so much, but I understand that being King is not something he can just put down.

I reach out to hug him, and freeze when my fingers brush empty air.  He steps back so I can see him clearly, and I see that his once waist-length hair now only reaches his shoulders.

There are only two reasons why a Sovereign of Darkness cuts their hair.

The first reason is that war has been declared; the second is that they are in mourning.

He nods to my unspoken question.  He had warned me this was coming, this loss, this grief of his.  It’s part of the reason why he’s been away so much, he knows I would take his grief and internalize it as my own.  This is a loss he needs to process privately.

“I’m sorry,” I say.

“There’s nothing you can do, dearest Heart,” he replies.  “I will have Others watching over you, but this,” he tugs what’s left of his hair, “is something you cannot help with.”

“I can support–”

“Varian.”  He sighs, holds up a hand.  “I love you, honey, but the best thing for you to do right now is focus on your schoolwork.”

“And healing–”

“No.  You’re still too close to that trauma.  I’d rather your wounds be healed as best as they can, before you start poking around at all that trauma.  Do you understand me?”

“Yes.”

He steps closer to me, his arms slipping around my waist.

“Do not hurt yourself,” he says, his voice low and intense.  “Do not break what’s left of your Heart in order to satisfy some absurd demand that you need to be broken in order to heal.  You are not glass.”  His gold eyes flash when he says the last sentence.

I nod, unsure what to say in response to that.

He sighs and lays his forehead against my own.

“You are my Heart,” he whispers, “and no matter how much they smear your name, I will protect you as my own.  I’ll stand by you, no matter how much they drag your name through the mud.”  There is anger in his voice now, anger and tears.

I wrap my arms around him and he lays his head against my shoulder.  We hold each other close, knowing this might be our last embrace for a long time.

So…Sacred Kingship is Now a Thing for Me

I joke with my friends that my life is either a fanfic or a fairytale, but I’m not sure how much of that statement is a joke anymore.  I’m still in the fallow time, but I can also see Certain Things heading my way, and it really does feel like I’m living in a fairytale.

Looking back at some poetry I’ve written means glaring at Certain Parties, but I’ve known this–sacred Kingship–was a part of my path for a long time now.  It’s something that’s been showing up in comments from spirits and gods for…oh, three years now.

It’s partly about supporting my Beloveds directly in their Jobs Over There, but there’s more to it than that.  There’s a group of spirits in the Otherworlds who think I’d make a good King for them, and their Queen–my adoptive divine Mother–agrees with them.  Eventually, they’re going to get passed on to me.

*a song he associates with said spirits comes up*

This isn’t something that’s starting Right Away, but it’s something I’ve been aware of for a while now.  It’s not something that’s getting thrown at me with no guidance, which I’m thankful for.  I have my Beloveds support, and I can talk to them about it, but we’ve agreed it’s best that the three of us keep our Otherworld Business as separate as we can.

I don’t know how much I’ll write about sacred Kingship, but it’s (probably) going to be a Major Part of my path going forward.  I’ll do more divination to get some clarification on exactly what I’m supposed to be doing (once this fallow period ends) but I wanted to write a brief post acknowledging that this is a part of my path.

Trip Around The Sun

It’s New Years in the Otherworlds today.

The public celebrations are going to be a party (as they are every year) with feasts, dancing, and spending time with Family and Friends.

My own Family’s private celebrations are going to be more somber, since we’ve been through hell this past year; it’s been very rough on all of us.

Our goal for the New Year is to leave all the awful things that happened behind, and embrace a better future.

Happy New Years, Everyone.