For Varian (A Month for the Madman)

I was going to write a poem myself, then the Madman grabbed the godphone speaker and decided it was better I channel something from him to me.


I love someone who was born by water
who was once the pride in his father’s eyes
who was enthroned in a glass case called “destiny.”

He lived and loved as deeply as he could;
to the point we ran from prison with him
cradled in our arms, with his own brother in
pursuit of us with orders to kill.  I love someone
who was stolen from us all on a starlit night
(and our son’s eyes turned black in grief.)

I love someone who was flung across the universe,
ripped away from those he loved out of misguided ideals,
and the thought of a second chance that would never come.

I love someone who has died a thousand times
but not by his own hand, by words of others
who would damn him for (not) being who he is.
His Heart is a Garden, but to allow himself to bloom
amidst the wreckage takes more bravery than he thought
was possible; but I will hold the candles to show him the way.

Advertisements

A Conversation

This is not destiny,
but I like to think that
I would have been at your side
in these moments
no matter what.

Even with screaming nightmares
and everything falling to pieces?
Even with my Heart shattering
like drops of glass? With my going
distant because it’s all–too much?

Yes, even then.  I love you more than
you can possibly know, even across
thousands of years.  I love you across
time and space and even death itself.

You can’t put me
back together 
can’t fill
my scars in with gold
you can’t take my dreams away–

I know that.  You’re not glass, Love.
You’re not worth less shattered.  You don’t
need to change back into who you once were.

But who I am now.  Scars and
trauma and–everything wrong?
You’d love me even then?

You know I do.

I believe you.

A Poem For Hope

You wear his crown of Darkness
and while it is made of silver flowers
it still holds the weight of the world
and a shattered Heart still mending.

Dear one, let me hold you.  I know
this is more than you ever bargained for
that the broken Heart of a god is something
you never thought you’d be so close to.

It is not up to you to pick up the pieces
his Heart is not a treasure to be searched for
or a prize to be sought after and won.  It is not
going to be stitched back together with gold

and purple flowers are nothing in the face
of nightmares.  It is not your job heal him
no magic words can change the past
(though how I wish they could.)

Hope is something you can still have
it is not found in ruins; but in the Heart
still beating.  On still nights you can hear
all the unspoken words come tumbling down.

Those 4 A.M. confessions that
shook both your worlds to the core.
That slowly creeping distance
finally becoming something real.

Know that Love is not gone, dear one,
it has simply stepped back.  Let me
wait for you by the still waters of Home
with flowers and light spilling from my hands.

(A Poem; from the Madman to the Dreamer)

I asked you to leave, you know.
You stayed with me at the Tree.
I’ve often wondered why.

You said it is simply–
that you loved me, and that love
is enough to face even certain death.

There are shadows in your eyes, when you’re there
at the Tree’s base, remembering–but I don’t know
what it’s like for you.  Having to watch your best friend die.

Over and over, I’ve seen you sacrifice, even your very life
for your Family, your friends, your Kingdom–that is enough!
You don’t need any more scars, my Love.  From the past, or your dreams.

You are correct, that you are not darkness
if you need us to be Light, we will be your Light
we will gladly chase your nightmares away.

All the darkness in the world will not change our Love.
Rest a while, if you need to, we will be here,
letting Love’s Light show the way.